MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby massdad1234 » Thu Nov 16, 2017 8:47 am

good advice Lfo2, I will consider that over this weekend and how to best approach to make sure I am being open, sympathetic and listening.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby a dad » Thu Nov 16, 2017 2:59 pm

LovingDadof2 wrote:Hopefully she's not asking for additional parenting time just for the CS paycheck?
Why do you need time to think about what she's asking for?
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby massdad1234 » Thu Nov 16, 2017 4:04 pm

another good question, I don't, I believe it is CS aka $ related, but I'm willing to listen to see if I missed anything.

what are some of your thoughts on what I should do?
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby dadforever » Thu Nov 16, 2017 5:43 pm

A couple of things come to mind:

First of all, have you ever actually seen your Judge order 50/50 on any case? As far as I know, there are only 2 Judges in the whole State that will do this. You might want to PM whatever works for the names of those Judges.

If you find out that the Judges in your court never order 50/50, you are in a more precarious position. Ask yourself this question: is your Ex the type that will cave under pressure to settle, or is she the type that will go to the mat? Keep in mind something very very very very important- support system matters! I'd bet dollars to donuts my ex would have caved if she didn't have highly committed family and a high priced attorney backing her. Even then she would have probably caved if it wasn't for the fact that she was willing to accuse me of everything and anything in order to gain leverage.

You need leverage. Has your ex moved out yet? (sorry, its been awhile since I've followed)
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby massdad1234 » Fri Nov 17, 2017 9:22 am

I am keeping the marital home and holding firm on custodial parent with a 4/3 breakdown based on STBX's random night/weekend employment and status quo.

She hasn't moved out, which isn't a big deal because I do have leverage and record 24/7.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby dadforever » Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:41 pm

massdad1234 wrote:I am keeping the marital home and holding firm on custodial parent with a 4/3 breakdown based on STBX's random night/weekend employment and status quo.

She hasn't moved out, which isn't a big deal because I do have leverage and record 24/7.


What is your leverage? Why hasn't it worked so far?
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby Bobby5000 » Sun Dec 03, 2017 6:19 pm

Judge probably suggests house be sold because 1) it's administratively easier, sell then split up the proceeds, and 2) it can put some pressure on the parties to settle. People talk about long, bitter, contested, complicated proceedings, when the judge wants matters settled, and easy to understand. There are many nasty divorces, but it was not clear what your wife's problem was with what was proposed and why the differences could not be worked out. Sometimes things cannot be worked out, but the smart litigant tries to understand the other side, recognizing a trial at 3,000 at day for a couple of weeks with a long of pretrial costs is not the ideal alternative.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby massdad1234 » Fri Dec 29, 2017 10:11 pm

the problem was child support, she wants $2400/month. I based a parenting plan off status quo (me primary) and she countered with every other weekend. I have 2 large poster boards with a visual break down of all the times I did morning routine in the past 24 months (daily) dinner and evening routine, specifically calling out when the STBX wasn't even physically home.

"Your honor, my parenting plan reflects status quo, a status quo in which all children are thriving and I see no reason to change. My work schedule caters to their daily routine which allows me to serve on a school council, volunteer at the school, chaperone all field trips, attend all class parties, etc. (hers changes week to week/day to day) and i attend every school and coach every sporting event (she attends approximately 10%). I handle all sign ups for school based requirements, activities, after school, camp, etc, and I also handled every kids annual physicals this year. Not only that, the kids have already adjusted to STBX not even being home when they come home from school/eat dinner/go to bed on average half the time, I see no reason why that will be an issue moving forward."

After that i plan on discussing the children in depth, their routine, etc

Side note - STBX is either on the rag or feeling the pressure, and I'm pretty confident her entire strategy is going to be bashing me on the stand - I'm taking the high road - she will have no evidence to back her claims or do anything to refute mine other than her word, and she continues to tell her sob story narrative that i am a monster to family.....who buy it!

Less people to give 2 fooks about moving forward.

Getting to yes was a great book to read. When you make principle based arguments against her, she has nothing.

Me: "I don't want to reward behaviour that reinforces treating people worse than they want to be treated. Do you think we should reward behavior like that?"
Her - "you're ruining their childhood!"
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Sat Dec 30, 2017 12:29 pm

massdad1234 wrote:"Your honor, my parenting plan reflects status quo, a status quo in which all children are thriving and I see no reason to change. My work schedule caters to their daily routine which allows me to serve on a school council, volunteer at the school, chaperone all field trips, attend all class parties, etc. (hers changes week to week/day to day) and i attend every school and coach every sporting event (she attends approximately 10%). I handle all sign ups for school based requirements, activities, after school, camp, etc, and I also handled every kids annual physicals this year. Not only that, the kids have already adjusted to STBX not even being home when they come home from school/eat dinner/go to bed on average half the time, I see no reason why that will be an issue moving forward."
OC: Your Honor, massdad's remarks make mommy dearest look bad. Poor dear. She's doing the best she can. LOL

Tom
Like football, family court is a game of inches. A John Madden strategy
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby massdad1234 » Sat Dec 30, 2017 12:53 pm

ha! the parenthesis were not to be said, however its easy to demonstrate through status quo. She is really ramping up the "he is a monster" routine to family and only telling half truth's. one thing that has stood the test of time with the list is - the other side is everyone but you. It has been a blessing though, why even waste energy on people that don't really want to find out the truth, simply confirm the biases. Not only that, but those that lash out, says more about them then me.

I'm trying not to worry too much, but I want to keep every angle covered. I just don't see the judge overturning status quo on what will more than amount to her trashing me for 2 hours. I almost feel like she is going to bring up money "he only is doing this to not pay me child support! He never was interested before"

Even though i will have prepared, brought visual aides, have events that can back it up and won't slander the mother.
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