Just Got Served

Tips on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation tips for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Just Got Served

Unread postby Euronymous » Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:35 pm

I knew that our marriage was coming to an end soon, and I stubbornly didn't want to be the one to do it. On Saturday night, one of my STBX's friends served me with the summons. Whether or not I'll be disadvantaged because of this I'll have to accept - this is the choice I have made.

Tomorrow it's off to an attorney's office with all the papers I copied recently (full portfolio of financial. property, etc.). I'm new to this forum and will appreciate any advice/support in my long journey ahead!
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Re: Just Got Served

Unread postby quantum » Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:56 pm

Seem like you don't have kids. If you don't be thankful and good luck. If you do have kids, you are in for long haul. Forget about your financial portfolio instead look for your parenting journal. Start by reading the list and stay close to forum.

May we know the state?
Moving forward with distress behind!
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Re: Just Got Served

Unread postby Euronymous » Mon Oct 16, 2017 12:12 am

According to the summons, she wants to put a substantial amount of money into making our rental property livable for her and when she has the two kids, take possession of the property, and then sell our primary residence, leaving me to find suitable housing. This has been a sticking point in our trying to find common ground, as I do not find this to be equitable. She is amenable to 50/50 custody, but wants the tradeoff day to take place each Wednesday. I travel often for work and Wednesday is the day I am most likely to be out of town. I proposed Friday but she won't budge (even though she works part time and rarely ever travels). She's also asking for half of my performance bonuses (I have a history of five figure annual bonuses) for a period of ten years. Sounds like I need to lawyer up, huh?

I'm 49, wife is 47, we have two 13 year-old twin boys, live in our primary residence in Washington state and have a rental property than we fully own. My wife has a long history of physical and psychological abuse of me, our sons, extended family, co-workers, neighbors, you name it. At some point in time, everyone who's come into contact with her has been scorched on some level. I have kept a journal of her antics over the past six years. This journal is now at 15 pages, single-spaced!
Emotionally, I have my good moments and bad moments. I feel a bit of relief that the process is officially moving forward after being in limbo for so long. This divorce is long, long overdue.
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Re: Just Got Served

Unread postby FlyGuySLO » Mon Oct 16, 2017 1:45 am

As was mentioned by Quantum, your first priority should be custody; which should be 50/50 and nothing less. Focus your efforts there because the rest is simple math based on State Family Laws.
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Re: Just Got Served

Unread postby grandet2 » Mon Oct 16, 2017 6:22 am

How did you find this atty?
“A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.”
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Re: Just Got Served

Unread postby kenpatric » Mon Oct 16, 2017 6:43 am

Have you requested a delay yet? Do get it pushed a little back then take an appropriate amount of time to respond wisely and correctly. And to gain the 50/50 custody I would recommend you to fight for full custody, even if it isn't even realistic. will help you negotiate at the end, relinquishing up front probably not going to get it back later
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Re: Just Got Served

Unread postby Campfire » Mon Oct 16, 2017 7:45 am

tric wrote:Have you requested a delay yet? Do get it pushed a little back then take an appropriate amount of time to respond wisely and correctly. And to gain the 50/50 custody I would recommend you to fight for full custody, even if it isn't even realistic. will help you negotiate at the end, relinquishing up front probably not going to get it back later



K-Bone

Welcome to the forum. Child custody is not like negotiating the price of a used car. If 50/50 is what you want, 50/50 is what you aim for in your response. Fighting for "full custody" when the other parent is a fit parent simply creates excessive legal fees.
Last edited by Campfire on Mon Oct 16, 2017 4:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
The List: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/father_divor ... hp?t=13374


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Re: Just Got Served

Unread postby SoxFan1986 » Mon Oct 16, 2017 7:59 am

Sorry to hear your situation but welcome to the club. There is life after divorce and being a Dad is a great thing. This will be a stressful time but you will get thru it.

Glad to hear you got legal representation. Now here's some your lawyer probably wont tell. You need to purchase a digital voice recorder. They sell them at walmart, best buy and staples. The purpose of the digital voice recorder is not to gather evidence but to protect you from false DV charges. We want to keep you living in the home.

Keep posting.
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Re: Just Got Served

Unread postby HaltAndCatchFire » Mon Oct 16, 2017 9:04 am

What physical abuse has been documented? Has she been arrested for domestic violence? Is there documented child abuse? The term 'abuse' gets thrown around quite a bit, so make sure you're using it in the context of the legal definition for your state. Most states define abuse in the context of physical abuse or child abuse.

Given her history, you absolutely need a digital audio recorder setup and running 24/7 when you are home. Otherwise you are at risk for a ride in a black and white taxi when she brings false DV charges against you.

ETA: Edit your username to something you don't use elsewhere.
The only way out is through.
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Re: Just Got Served

Unread postby Euronymous » Mon Oct 16, 2017 10:13 am

FlyGuySLO wrote:As was mentioned by Quantum, your first priority should be custody; which should be 50/50 and nothing less. Focus your efforts there because the rest is simple math based on State Family Laws.


Yes, I am not worried about the financial aspect - my primary concern is custody, and I want 50/50 minimum. At what risk am I that she could argue for something less than this?
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