STBX txt msgs "its your fault if children end up in casket"

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Re: STBX txt msgs "its your fault if children end up in cask

Unread postby Campfire » Mon Oct 30, 2017 3:23 pm

BartSimpson wrote:Don’t sweat it.

If you don’t have the resources, it wasn’t willful and intentional, and not in contempt.



During my divorce, I had been court ordered to pay some of my then STbX's attorney fees. Month in and month out, I hadn't paid a dime of them. Every court date the OC brought it up along with a motion for contempt. Each time the judge rolled her eyes and then looked my way.

You see, the judge already knew based upon my financial disclosures that I was going deeper into the red every month. I was in arrears to my own attorney. The judge simply ignored the issue completely. You cannot get blood from a turnip.

Guess who recommended I ignore my STBX's numerous money grab attempts? This forum. I was doubtful. Guess who's opinion was correct nearly 100%...? Yeah, the veterans on this forum. This is a non-issue.
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Re: STBX txt msgs "its your fault if children end up in cask

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:43 pm

truemort wrote:.....I am locked into a pendente lite order that puts me on the hook for all expenses and repairs.
In this game, you hafta step out of your comfort zone. You also hafta be willing to push the envelope. And you hafta become evermore willing to take risks. Because he who risks little gets little.

Tom
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Re: STBX txt msgs "its your fault if children end up in cask

Unread postby truemort » Sun Nov 05, 2017 7:05 pm

**update

True to her character, my NJ STBX (pro se), has just filed a motion against me to compel me to get the truck repaired and to "repair other items in the house i no longer live in....in addition she is asking for legal fees and sanctions against me for willingly violating the pendente lite order.
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Re: STBX txt msgs "its your fault if children end up in cask

Unread postby NorthStar » Sun Nov 05, 2017 10:45 pm

truemort wrote:**update

True to her character, my NJ STBX (pro se), has just filed a motion against me to compel me to get the truck repaired and to "repair other items in the house i no longer live in....in addition she is asking for legal fees and sanctions against me for willingly violating the pendente lite order.

My highly contested divorce/custody case lasted for four years. I received at least a half dozen of those letters over that time. Everything from keeping child in private school to maintaining and payments on the vehicle she drove. Every one of them l replied through my lawyer with a positive solution that would benefit all involved. She refused every solution offered. Judge simply replied: I will here it the day of court. The day of court I simply stuck to the facts. I did not have the money and I offered reasonable solutions that would benefit all. My outcome was great.

+1 on Tom‘s post
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Re: STBX txt msgs "its your fault if children end up in cask

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Sun Nov 05, 2017 11:25 pm

In response: File an Answer and Counterclaim. Be sure to ask for attorney fees.

Your motion should include NJ obtaining full-time employment and selling the car. Additionally, she needs to become fully self-supporting, learn to live within her means, and leave you the hell alone.

Tom
Last edited by Tom Kirkpatrick on Tue Nov 07, 2017 1:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: STBX txt msgs "its your fault if children end up in cask

Unread postby truemort » Tue Nov 07, 2017 11:20 am

in her complete motion filing she is asking court to compel the following:

1) Compel me to maintain temp order and get all repairs done (totalling 10k in house repairs and auto repairs)
2) Pay her legal fees
3) compel me to give her all usernames and passwords to my personal accounts (banks and cred cards)
4) force me to pay unallocated support via probation department
5) be found in contempt...
6) she is asking court to grant her "control" over the paying of all bills and expenses with my money.. so basically when i get paid, she wants access to my paycheck....(her argument here is that because I am an IT contractor and have a LLC and get paid on 1099, any business money she should have access to)....
6)...basically she asking for money and another round of discovery..

do courts usually allow this?

we are mid trial and our next trial date is nov 28th.
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Re: STBX txt msgs "its your fault if children end up in cask

Unread postby Campfire » Tue Nov 07, 2017 11:46 am

1. Doubtful
2. Unlikely except for a token amount. Caveat: If your attorney fees are far higher than hers, the court may "level the playing field".
3. Lol
4. "Let's see what the judge has to say"
5. Yaaaawn
6. Lol


I'm not saying I'm a fortune teller but seriously, ask yourself how an unbiased party who's more focused on what's for lunch going to look at her motion? This all sounds very petty. What I can tell from my experience is that reasonable requests have a chance. Unreasonable requests get tossed aside.
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Re: STBX txt msgs "its your fault if children end up in cask

Unread postby MegaDad » Tue Nov 07, 2017 11:59 am

Campfire laid it out pretty well. Most of these requests are ridiculous or have already been attended to if I am not mistaken. She, like many others, do not understand what being in contempt means. You are not paying because you choose not to, that WOULD be contempt. You are not paying because you literally do not have the money, and have already proven such. Family court is the wild west, you never know what will happen, but that being said I would be surprised if she got any of these. I can say with certainty that she will never get 3 and 6.
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Re: STBX txt msgs "its your fault if children end up in cask

Unread postby truemort » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:40 pm

thanks guys.. im so stressed out by all of this....

what about her asking for anothe round of discovery? where i must provide updated bank statements?

her argument is that the discovery period was from march 2016 to Feb 2017.....yet we are in trial now and its Nov 2017... so therefore she needs updated statements from March 2017 till Current (Nov)....
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Re: STBX txt msgs "its your fault if children end up in cask

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Tue Nov 07, 2017 1:44 pm

File an Answer and Counterclaim.
^^^^^ In your Counterclaim, you should be asking the court for Sanctions. NJ's laundry list is altogether frivolous.

Now is the time to leverage NJ's weakness to your advantage: Now is the time to pull a reverse. Now is the time to tilt the playing field in your favor.

The question is, "Are you up to it??"
1) "Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone??"
2) "Are you willing to push the envelope??"
3 "Are you willing to take a risk??"

Tom
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