What to expect

Tips on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation tips for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Re: What to expect

Unread postby SoxFan1986 » Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:02 am

If your IRA balance was 0 when your got married and now its 300K. She's gonna be looking for half if it goes to court.
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Re: What to expect

Unread postby FN Newguy » Wed Sep 27, 2017 12:17 am

Deposition revealed her financial affidavit of her income is grossly understated. She can afford the house on her own but is claiming she can't without SS. I told my attorney if she claims she can't afford it w/o SS...put a for sale sign in the front yard. He is fully informed of my financial debt and I have no extra $ for SS AND afford to live in another place. Her attorney doesn't even know what she wants other than me out of the house.

Also told my attorney I didn't have an issue with moving out but don't want to lose any interest in the equity by not paying SS or contributing to the mortgage. Temporary hearing in a couple of weeks. Thoughts? My attorney is reading up on the legality of her claim of accessing my desktop computer, which she admitted was mine, to obtain access to my email which is the foundation of her proof.
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Re: What to expect

Unread postby FN Newguy » Sat Oct 07, 2017 11:35 pm

Temp hearing didn't turn out as I had expected. Judge gave me 30 days to leave the home. She also believed the dog squeeze my STBX dished out. Imo the judge had sympathy for my STBX. I was also ordered to pay $1000 for the household bills and $500/mo going forward. My STBX lied stating she had put utilities on the credit card because she didn't have enough money to pay the bills even after I contributed half. She paid an insurance bill and not even sure if it was her car insurance, her parents car insurance or her parents home insurance as they are all with the same insurance company. It could've even been put on the card because she failed to pay it on time and received a lapse notice and wanted to get it paid quickly. Because the judge believed her bbs, I also have to pay half of the minimum payment towards that credit card. She even charged her last vacation, a cruise, on that card.

Now I get to figure out how I will pay my bills and a way to pay rent. F_©k me. Is it possible to show this judge the last 36 months statements to prove my STBX lied and get the judge to change her order? I will have $300 available after I pay my projected rent, utilities and known bills and the $300 I'll have left over WAS going to go towards food. Guess I'm gonna lose 30 more pounds.
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Re: What to expect

Unread postby HaltAndCatchFire » Sun Oct 08, 2017 12:49 pm

Did you not have a DRFA completed before the temp hearing? That would have clearly shown what is/is not being paid each month and by whom.

What was the reason the judge awarded exclusive use and occupancy of the marital home to her?

Talk to a buddy and see if they're open to you renting a room, or at least crashing on a couch while you figure out your situation. Since your kids are grown, it's a lot simpler just finding accommodations for yourself.
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Re: What to expect

Unread postby FN Newguy » Sun Oct 08, 2017 1:38 pm

The judge had both of our DRFA's. The judge was sitting in for the judge we were supposed to have. I don't believe she actually took the time to identify that since my STBX was self employed and had the motive and opportunity to hide income and my payroll statements could not be doctored, it caused the unfair ruling. I understand it is only temporary but I will struggle to pay my bills.

I do not have any buddies. She made sure throughout the marriage I was alienated from friends that nobody would want to be anywhere near her or her bs.

The judge did not give a reason for me paying more. STBX got use of the home because it is used for her business.

I'm lost and soon to be broke.
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Re: What to expect

Unread postby HaltAndCatchFire » Sun Oct 08, 2017 1:53 pm

In my Georgia county, having a magistrate judge sub in for your assigned judge is pretty common for divorce temporary hearings. Superior Court judges delegate the things they can delegate, and do so often. It infuriates my attorney, because you don't know which judge you're getting until you show up to Court that day.

Are you pro se? Your attorney should have done a thorough job of imputing her income. What's temporary has a habit of becoming permanent. Status quo is the bias of the Court.
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Re: What to expect

Unread postby FN Newguy » Sun Oct 08, 2017 2:23 pm

County is Gwinnett. I agree her income should be imputed. She accepts cash frequently and doesn't report it to anyone. Forensic accountant would be expensive and just lengthen the process. Her federal and state tax fraud is out of control. She tried to talk to me last night and I ignored her. She uses everything I say against me in one way or another. DGAF and radio silence. Is it possible to get the ruling modified? Quickly?
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Re: What to expect

Unread postby HaltAndCatchFire » Sun Oct 08, 2017 3:20 pm

How have you filed taxes in the past? If jointly, then that fraud is on you too.

Georgia doesn't have spousal support statues, but ask your attorney how your judge has ruled in the past. I suspect it'll be somewhere in the neighborhood of 40% of your net income, for 1/3 the length of the marriage. According to my attorney, that's the standard that Court has determined for alimony. A forensic accountant in Gwinnett should cost about $5k. Look at how much you're already paying her in temporary spousal support, and do the math.

You are unlikely to get the temp hearing modified, unless there are extenuating circumstances.
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Re: What to expect

Unread postby FN Newguy » Sun Oct 08, 2017 3:43 pm

Great. Would extenuating circumstances include one of the party's lying under oath to obtain a more favorable ruling. That is exactly what happened. Either of us could afford the house independently of the other. Her spending habits purchasing unnecessary items habitually prevent her from being able to do so(hoarder). I understand the order is a temporary order but until e are done I am not sure I'll financially survive. My thinking in the temporary aspect is so my equitable interest in the house equity remains clear.
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Re: What to expect

Unread postby whatever_works » Sun Oct 08, 2017 4:38 pm

Do you have a lawyer? I went through something similar earlier this year. A judge was subbed for my regular judge and the substitute was a known man hater. She lectured me after listening to my wife's BS and shut my lawyer up every time he tried to speak. I sensed that the judge had a history with my lawyer. I was shaking my head in court and got told to control my emotions. This was after I lost my job when my ex had been jobless for over a year. My child support was raised by this judge because she wanted to encourage me to seek a new job.

My lawyer said we can go back but things turned out slightly different with a new judge being assigned to my case and with me finding a job.

Hopefully your lawyer can appeal this decision.
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