R3 for withholding info

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Re: R3 for withholding info

Unread postby spritom » Thu Apr 20, 2017 6:09 pm

Whenever possible - always get your info from the 3rd party (school, coach, scout leader, etc.) and not through Ex
And even if the 3rd party tries to claim they only send out one copy...be polite, be persistent, write them a letter, meet with the principal...most all the time it's still doable.

Yup, it's a pain for the school that purchased a computer database that only has one address slot for "parent" kind of thing and it would mean they need to join the 1990's (at big cost) or have an employee remember to do an exception by hand.
But that's not your problem.

Anyway, the more you have channels to the source for the info and not via the Ex...happier your life shall be.
A vindictive Ex will use that withholding stuff for many years off and on.
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Re: R3 for withholding info

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Thu Apr 20, 2017 6:17 pm

Me and my ex wife very rarely share information. We don't do it out of spite, we both know each other are on top of it and already know whats what.
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Re: R3 for withholding info

Unread postby dire » Thu Apr 20, 2017 6:53 pm

At the beginning of every school year, I send a very polite email to my kids' teachers introducing myself and our situation. Something like this:

Dear Teacher,

Son is very excited to be in your class this year and we are looking forward to the school year. As you may or may not know, Son splits his time between his two parent's homes. We each have a desire to stay engaged and involved in the goings on at school, but sometimes paperwork gets lost in the shuffle between houses. Would it be possible to get duplicate copies of school-to-home communication? We understand this won't always be possible, but appreciate any accommodations you could make for us.



It has always worked out well. I also read a suggestion here from someone who dropped off a stack of self addressed, stamped envelopes to the front desk to get the mailings. Haven't had to do that, but it's a great idea! And yeah, pictures, usually you just need the code from the packet and you can order online.
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Re: R3 for withholding info

Unread postby RockyCali » Thu Apr 20, 2017 8:54 pm

dire wrote:At the beginning of every school year, I send a very polite email to my kids' teachers introducing myself and our situation. Something like this


Also because I do something very similar.
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Re: R3 for withholding info

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:05 pm

almst1414 wrote:Is there a good example for a R3.....


almst1414 wrote:suggestions to request copies of information that School sends home.....
Why aren't you getting school info from the school yourself?? Never let NJ be your gatekeeper.

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Re: R3 for withholding info

Unread postby MonkeySee » Fri Apr 21, 2017 5:20 am

I agree with everyone. Take control by getting the information yourself. It'll be the same company taking photos every year. In most cases every child is photographed because they use those pictures for the yearbook. You can call or email the company and get the information to order pictures.

Check the school website weekly for events and see if the teacher has a newsletter or information portal online. Contact the teacher by email and request she email you copies of anything important that's going to Mom's house, like report cards.

Join the PTA. Volunteer at the school. Stay in contact with the teacher(s) and don't let mom be the gatekeeper.

The right to personally have access to all school and medical information is one of the most basic rights of parents. So much so that it's automatically written into most "standard" parenting time schedules. Don't limit yourself to what Mom feels like sharing, get in there and get ALL the information.
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