What to do....

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What to do....

Unread postby fireman4953 » Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:09 pm

I filed for divorce with my wife of 2 years, together for 4 years. During my marriage my wife committed her 3rd DUI and was put into Sobriety Court. She has been sober for over a year and a half now with my complete support throughout. She has 2 children from a previous marriage that we care for and I treat them as my own. I work as a full time firefighter and part time doing safety inspections one or two days a week. I'm very busy and worked very hard for our family. My wife never expressed any appreciation or gratitude for my hard work and she is unable to keep a job for more than a couple months as a part time waitress. For the past six to eight months I grew extremely unhappy with her and developed deep resentment for her. It broke through one night when I came home drunk and pretty much told her everything I was feeling. Wrong way to do it but it boiled over. That was it. We grew even more distant to the point where we both couldn't stand each other. I was willing to go to marriage counseling but she did not. So instead of living a life in hell I filed for divorce. I still love and care for her but I'm not in love with her. At all.

So for the kids sake I agreed to stay with a friend until May 1st. She says she does not want the house and wants the kids to live in a tense free and calm environment. I agreed. We even signed a contract with a third party as witness stating she has til May 1 to get out of the house. I still have my belongings there and pay all the bills. She changed the locks though and put all my clothes on the porch. Whatever. Legally I can move back anytime I want since it is primary residence. Communication with her is near impossible. She told me she hasn't found a place to live yet. She is also driving a vehicle I own in my name only and will not meet me to switch the titles. I am so frustrated. We decided to do this without lawyers but I don't think I have a choice now. When May 1st comes should I just move back in the house with law enforcement on site to ensure peace. Should I take my vehicle away from her since she refuses to refinance our loan in her name and insurer herself. By the way she is driving the vehicle illegally because she has a restricted license and needs a blow machine in the vehicle. I want a peaceful, civil divorce but it seems impossible now. What would you do?
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Re: What to do....

Unread postby Trevor » Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:37 pm

Move the < edited > back in your house immediately. You have made the single worst move that a Dad can possibly make.
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Re: What to do....

Unread postby fireman4953 » Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:47 pm

They are not my kids. I didn't adopt them nor am I seeking any custody. But I agree that moving back in the house is my best option.
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Re: What to do....

Unread postby BartSimpson » Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:57 pm

Where is the father of the children?
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Re: What to do....

Unread postby fireman4953 » Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:17 pm

He is in their lives. He is a great father to them and we get along fine. It's a 50/50 custody. Since no court order has been issued by my soon to be ex I still have full rights to move back into MY house. That's what I am going to do. It's going to be a trainwreck but I am sick of it. I have to look out for ME.
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Re: What to do....

Unread postby BartSimpson » Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:33 pm

What are you doing about your drinking?
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Re: What to do....

Unread postby fireman4953 » Thu Apr 20, 2017 8:40 am

I drink socially. Not very often at all. Just happened to go out with some friends that night and kind of let everything out. I am going to a counselor and going through this divorce process in a healthy manner.
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Re: What to do....

Unread postby BartSimpson » Thu Apr 20, 2017 8:58 am

You are making excuses for your drinking, it is obviously a source of concern when you are drunk and raging. You should stop altogether during the divorce - is that a problem?
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Re: What to do....

Unread postby fireman4953 » Thu Apr 20, 2017 9:36 am

I am seeing a counselor and drinking has been brought up and we are dealing with the issue. Like I said I want to experience the divorce in a healthy manner. I told my ex that I wanted to seek help and advice from a counselor to control my emotions without drinking. I might have a beer or two when I hang out with my friends socially. I absolutely do not drink alone nor do I seek to get drunk. To never drink again wouldn't bother at all but at social gathering I find no harm having 1 or 2. It does help me to relax and enjoy myself.
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Re: What to do....

Unread postby Trevor » Thu Apr 20, 2017 9:53 am

Then stopping altogether is a problem.
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