How to respond to this

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How to respond to this

Unread postby Super Man » Wed Apr 19, 2017 1:24 pm

Background. STBX has been on supervised visits since May 2016. In November, the judge ordered her to be alcohol monitored and continue on supervised visits. In January 2017, STBX fired the monitored because the monitored terminated her last 3 visits due to behavior/appearing to be under the influence.

STBX as of right now has not done a visit since she fired the monitor, and is currently not being monitored. Her lawyer sent an email stating she does not have any money to be monitored, and that her family is no longer helping her. Her lawyer wants to use a $45 breathalyzer that he found on Amazon.

I am weary using that cheap device. Family Court mediation report recommended her staying on supervised visits and noted she was not in compliance with her court order.

We have a scheduled RFO next month where STBX is asking for more support. Should I stand my ground and not do any visits until she is in compliance being here latest visits were terminated and I have the report that was done by the monitor?

Thoughts?
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Re: How to respond to this

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Wed Apr 19, 2017 1:26 pm

First thought...... No, stand your ground.

Second thought.... Still no.
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Re: How to respond to this

Unread postby MegaDad » Wed Apr 19, 2017 1:37 pm

Agreed. I imagine that in the eyes of the court, you allowing unsupervised parenting time means you are okay with her having it and your child is safe in her care. OC could have a field day with that.

Simply put, she is not following the court order, and her level of dependence on controlled substances creates an unsafe environment for your child. The court made this stance official with the order for her having supervised parenting time in the first place.

My take? The judge would have some questions for you if you DIDN'T withhold the child.
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Re: How to respond to this

Unread postby BartSimpson » Wed Apr 19, 2017 2:34 pm

What part of your brain is confused about this?
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Re: How to respond to this

Unread postby Trevor » Wed Apr 19, 2017 2:35 pm

Agreed. Protecting the child is paramount. If it mattered to mom, she's choose to get her < feces > together and be able to manage the supervised requirements and climb out of the hole she's dug for herself.
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Re: How to respond to this

Unread postby Outis » Wed Apr 19, 2017 2:35 pm

Terminated monitored sessions. No funds to pay for monitoring. Family support has disappeared.

These are symptoms of continuing problems.

The opposite would also be true - compliance with alcohol monitoring and supervised time would be indications that she is getting her life in order.

The system is working as designed. OC can file to have his requests heard by the judge.
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Re: How to respond to this

Unread postby hoosier_dad » Wed Apr 19, 2017 2:42 pm

Super Man wrote:Her lawyer sent an email stating she does not have any money to be monitored, and that her family is no longer helping her. Her lawyer wants to use a $45 breathalyzer that he found on Amazon.


Then by all means her lawyer should petition the court for a hearing and argue that a cheapo breathalyzer from Amazon is sufficient to meet the safety restrictions the court put in place. Not going to happen.

But the fact that she can pay her attorney to draft that letter to you indicates she has money. She just prefers to spend it on other things than seeing her child. Sad.
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Re: How to respond to this

Unread postby Outis » Wed Apr 19, 2017 3:10 pm

hoosier_dad wrote:But the fact that she can pay her attorney to draft that letter to you indicates she has money. She just prefers to spend it on other things than seeing her child. Sad.

Thread jack.

Had an interesting discussion with someone, in which I had to explain how S12 is coping with his mom up and moving out of state. This other person had mentioned that parents shouldn't be able to skirt their responsibilities.

It took me a while, but I've come to the conclusion that maybe kids are better off when parents can make such decisions.

Think about it for a minute - if a parent is so involved in whatever, maybe it's better that they're not a toxic component in the life of the child.

That said, hopefully such parents can reduce the toxicity and become a healthy, involved part of the child's life.

/thread jack
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Re: How to respond to this

Unread postby MegaDad » Wed Apr 19, 2017 4:01 pm

Outis wrote:
hoosier_dad wrote:But the fact that she can pay her attorney to draft that letter to you indicates she has money. She just prefers to spend it on other things than seeing her child. Sad.

Thread jack.

Had an interesting discussion with someone, in which I had to explain how S12 is coping with his mom up and moving out of state. This other person had mentioned that parents shouldn't be able to skirt their responsibilities.

It took me a while, but I've come to the conclusion that maybe kids are better off when parents can make such decisions.

Think about it for a minute - if a parent is so involved in whatever, maybe it's better that they're not a toxic component in the life of the child.

That said, hopefully such parents can reduce the toxicity and become a healthy, involved part of the child's life.

/thread jack


You know that would actually be an interesting topic for Miscellany. Which is better? A crappy parent who stays around, or one who just pops smoke and rolls on out.

(Back to the thread at hand)
OP, I think you have your answer, lol.
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Re: How to respond to this

Unread postby spritom » Wed Apr 19, 2017 7:45 pm

If OC can hijack your case to talk about Amazon.com devices....then that's quite the attorney that can pull off that magic trick...
Image

It's not about the device.
It's about her judgment and her pattern of bad choices that led to having a neutral 3rd party administer the decision for the safety of the children.

Your only tool here is the court order that you fought for. There doesn't seem to be a sound reason to give up that last line of protection for the children.
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