Mediation Advice

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Mediation Advice

Unread postby WantToMoveOn » Mon Apr 17, 2017 7:04 am

We are currently going to mediation and have come to agreement on everything except for spousal support. We stammered around at last week's mediation because no one would provide a reasonable starting point. I ended up offering my half of the profits from the sale of our home (combined with hers roughly $50k), and we split all other accounts 50/50 (giving her another$10k) with no monthly support following (outside of child support of course). She was agreeable to this at the time but over the past few days I think someone started bending her ear about getting more. She hasn't given me any solid numbers but is indicating that she wants all of the home profits, plus monthly support for 5 years and pointed to an on line calculator that says it should be around $2000 a month for 5 years. We have mediation again tonight that was supposed to be the final one, but now who knows what will happen. Here are some details.

Custody is 50/50
My annual gross $92k
She is unemployed but agreed $30k is obtainable for her.
She will get most of what's in the house, profits from house and 50/50 of other accounts totaling $60k
I take $10k in debt, she takes $4k in debt
I pay $1000 in day care
I pay D3 health insurance
I pay stbx health insurance for the next year
I pay CS to whatever the NC guideline is

My goal is to lump sum pay her so I can start fresh with my full paycheck minus D3 needs. I feel like anything more than what I am currently offering her would have to be awarded by a judge and that I am being reasonable, bordering on generous. Maybe I am wrong.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.
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Re: Mediation Advice

Unread postby BartSimpson » Mon Apr 17, 2017 7:14 am

Do you recall the advice you have been given about being Captain Save-a-ho?

The weight of a lump sum payment must be balanced against the potential for remarriage. Given you and your wife's swinger lifestyle, my guess is she will be married within a year.
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Re: Mediation Advice

Unread postby Timeflies » Mon Apr 17, 2017 7:34 am

[quote="BartSimpson"]Do you recall the advice you have been given about being Captain Save-a-ho?

You can lead a horse to water. But you can't make him drink it.
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Re: Mediation Advice

Unread postby TJinCA » Mon Apr 17, 2017 3:53 pm

In negotiating this keep in mind that ongoing alimony (NOT child support) is a tax deduction for you, taxable income for her, where a lump sum payment or property division is usually nontaxable to either of you. That makes a lump sum much better for her so it shouldn't really be a dollar-for-dollar tradeoff between the two.
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Re: Mediation Advice

Unread postby massdaddio » Mon Apr 17, 2017 5:04 pm

If she is unemployed, why is daycare so high? You may want to use daycare on your days, but why would she need daycare if she's not working?
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Re: Mediation Advice

Unread postby WantToMoveOn » Thu Apr 20, 2017 6:16 pm

Mediation started good but the next day she decided she wants more. This has happened the past three times. I will make an offer, she will agree to it then the next day something will happen and she will want more. I have since told her my last offer stands, if she doesn't accept it by next mediation than all offers are done and I will obtain an attorney.

It boils down to fear guys, I wont lie. I am afraid of being left giving her the majority of my paycheck for years on end. I realize this is unlikely but crap happens sometimes. She has never balked at the 50/50 custody so I am happy for that.
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