Update and seeking input CA

Tips on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation tips for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Update and seeking input CA

Unread postby Dadofonegreatson » Sun Apr 16, 2017 7:35 pm

S12, Married 17 yrs

False DV, arrested, have a criminal attorney. TRO was granted. TRO still in effect that extends to S12 based on allegations on her part which are unfounded. STBX is a HCP/NCP.

Went through the list, extensive forum research, began implementing immediately (couple days after it happened).

Austerity, voice recording, (hindsight is 20/20), financial disentanglement, separate account at a new bank, digital presence, passwords, financial institutions notified, P.O. Box, newly started journal, etc.

I have begun reconstructing a journal for superdadness, and have reconstructed all pertinent financial documentation and have both hard and soft of all materials.

I have retained a male litigator, and feel comfortable there. I know I must manage my case, all aspects of it. I have also began researching case and family code extensively. Texts, emails, and facebook posts archived and printed telling the world how much of a wonderful husband and father I am.

The question is that I have no contact with S12 per theTRO, and was advised not to pursue by my criminal attorney until those proceedings are complete. I want to ex parte for custody but I'm not sure that is the right move, but I am also aware of status quo and its implications and any appearance in the eyes of the court that I am somehow not seeking custody. Should I move forward with and ex parte now or wait?
Last edited by Dadofonegreatson on Fri Jun 16, 2017 9:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Dadofonegreatson
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Fri Apr 14, 2017 11:27 pm

Re: New in CA

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sun Apr 16, 2017 11:22 pm

Hello,

Follow the advice of your attorney.

Are you in NorCal or SoCal?
Volenti non fit injuria
User avatar
BartSimpson
20K Club
 
Posts: 25730
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:50 pm

Re: New in CA

Unread postby Dadofonegreatson » Mon Apr 17, 2017 2:12 am

Bart,

Southern, I wasn't clear in that I have both a criminal and family attorney presently retained.

Understood, I'll follow the advice.
Dadofonegreatson
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Fri Apr 14, 2017 11:27 pm

Re: New in CA

Unread postby BartSimpson » Mon Apr 17, 2017 7:26 am

Just curious where you were since we have members all over this State.

Your attorney defending the TRO is correct, do not attempt an end run around the TRO with an Ex Parte for your son. There is no emergency that requires an Ex Parte in your situation, and the Ex Parte will require you and the wife to interact, something the TRO is intended to prevent.

California is unique in that you must notify the other party of the Ex Parte Hearing, and that they attend. Your criminal attorney, like myself, probably views demanding such a hearing as a Borderline Personality behavior of remaining entangled - and the mother's attorney will certainly spin it that way.
Volenti non fit injuria
User avatar
BartSimpson
20K Club
 
Posts: 25730
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:50 pm

Re: New in CA

Unread postby Dadofonegreatson » Mon Apr 17, 2017 7:02 pm

Bart,

You are a wise man, I appreciate your sage advice and many contributions to this forum.
Dadofonegreatson
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Fri Apr 14, 2017 11:27 pm

Re: New in CA

Unread postby Dadofonegreatson » Mon Apr 17, 2017 7:14 pm

Another question, I know the mantra is don't move out..she did. Should I stay in the leased home? I am looking to downsize to build the war chest.
Dadofonegreatson
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Fri Apr 14, 2017 11:27 pm

Re: New in CA

Unread postby JimRockford » Mon Apr 17, 2017 7:30 pm

If she's already gone and you dont' own the home, I can't see any advantage to staying there, other than potential penalties for breaking the lease. However, I would stay in the same school zone.
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
JimRockford
500+ Posts
 
Posts: 946
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2015 12:48 am

Re: New in CA

Unread postby Dadofonegreatson » Mon Apr 17, 2017 7:51 pm

Thanks Jim, that's exactly what I was thinking and reasoning to myself.
Dadofonegreatson
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Fri Apr 14, 2017 11:27 pm

Re: New in CA

Unread postby blng_blng » Mon Apr 17, 2017 9:52 pm

If you get on supervised < parenting time >: set your < parenting time > schedule 1 month in advance . If the supervisor cannot provide that service keep looking for one that does. Kaiser Permanente does NOT provide court services, don't use them for crap, it will be a waste of time. My STBX delayed my process at least 10 months behind both Kaiser and denied < parenting time >, don't make my mistake.
blng_blng
100+ Posts
 
Posts: 104
Joined: Sat Dec 13, 2014 10:37 am

Re: Update and seeking input CA

Unread postby Dadofonegreatson » Fri Jun 16, 2017 9:48 pm

Several updates and feedback requested

DV Update: No charges filed on the criminal side.

We attended the FCS session and the report recommended sole legal to mother, due to our(her)inability to communicate civilly. In addition conjoint therapy for me and S12 to "reconcile our relationship", based on an independent therapist S12 is seeing that mom has ties too. She goes on to mention that STBX is exhibiting hi-levels of anxiety and is using S12 as support and sharing custody and court issues furthering his anxiety (and I can only imagine what else). She was remanded by the social worker but still came out favoring her for sole, I was in shock.

CPS got involved and substantiated a claim of emotional abuse against me relating to the events that led me to get in trouble with johnny law, because he was in the area. How do I get a copy of the report?

CS/SS RFO done, custody was continued due to the TRO still being in place.

DVTRO is next in line (it was continued due to the crim side) followed immediately by the Custody RFO in a little over a month.

I have been taking parenting and co-parenting classes and will be complete with the program before the the custody hearing as well as an AM course.

She has lied at every turn, theatrics on par with Judy Garland, and has no concern for perjuring herself in pleadings. I know the common thread here is to DGAF, but it gets my blood boiling because I know she's outright lying to the judge.

Lawyer wants to wait until TRO is complete before we go the 730 CE route. I'm an open book, I need some guidance in a bad way.
Dadofonegreatson
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Fri Apr 14, 2017 11:27 pm

Next

Return to Before and During Divorce Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests