Intro & Game Plan

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Re: Intro & Game Plan

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Wed Aug 23, 2017 11:45 am

HaltAndCatchFire wrote:She proposed that on the weeks when she wasn't working (i.e., she would be 'back in town') that she live in my house and I would have to find residence elsewhere.
Nesting doesn't work. You need Exclusive Use and Occupancy of the marital residence.

Tom
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Re: Intro & Game Plan

Unread postby HaltAndCatchFire » Thu Aug 24, 2017 9:28 am

LovingDadof2 wrote:Can you share what is included in your parenting plan?

Each calendar day has an entry. I include the following details if it applies:

* Getting the kids up and ready for school
* Picking kids up from after-school care
* Helping them with homework
* Behavior at school (my youngest gets feedback every day)
* Fun stuff we did together (Nerf, playing sports outside)
* Good/bad attitude observations
* If I coordinated with another parent to invite their friends over
* Meetings with school teachers, and doctor visits
* Any notes sent by teachers
* What time I put them to bed

When it's a more special occasion, I'll include a photo or two of them having a good time.

ETA: It's a Word doc, double spaced, with a Court acceptable 14point font. It's currently at 113 pages for this year.
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Re: Intro & Game Plan

Unread postby HaltAndCatchFire » Thu Aug 24, 2017 10:20 am

Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:Nesting doesn't work. You need Exclusive Use and Occupancy of the marital residence.

Nesting is not an option I'll ever consider. The fact that the mother thought nesting is reasonable only reinforces why I need to dissolve this marriage.

There are no temporary orders in place. The mediator, a retired magistrate judge who has ruled on many temp hearings during 12 years on the bench, said the mother's "poor me, he's divorcing me after I got fired" story would work against me right now. If I wait until the 9-12 month mark where she's been unemployed and then pursue exclusive use, the judges in my Court would be less receptive to her sob story. My attorney agreed based on his experience with a similar action for another client. Since we've gotten past the psychological hump of recognizing that each parent needs to be involved equally in our kids lives (she agreed to 50/50), the next goal is to keep alimony out of the picture.
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Re: Intro & Game Plan

Unread postby HaltAndCatchFire » Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:48 am

9 hours of mediation completed. Parenting plan and settlement agreement signed.

The Good:

16 overnights/month with me, which includes two weekends (Fri-Sun). I parent my kids when she’s working, and she sends me her work schedule a month in advance. That’s why it’s not a straightforward 7/7 or 2/2/3 schedule. Getting 50% parenting time was my hill to die on and I never lost sight of it.

Geographic restriction to current school district, plus three surrounding school districts. All districts are in the same county and within 10 miles of the current district.

Joint custody with final decision making for medical for one child and education for the other; reverse that with the second child for her. We capped reimbursable extracurricular costs. Any extracurriculars above two per year is paid by the parent who signed them up. All healthcare costs are split 50/50.

No alimony. Not modifiable.

No child support. With her new job, she’s making slightly more money than me so she would be paying me. Even though we agreed to no child support in the agreement, I know I could ask the Court to enforce state guidelines at any time. The fallout from enforcement right now is not worth the $50/month I’d gain.

The Mediocre:

I agreed to submit the paperwork to the judge in December. It’s about timing with healthcare coverage with her new employer and not wanting to deal with COBRA. The judge will get it signed by the end of the year for tax purposes.

The Ugly:

She’s living in the house until spring (the house is my premarital asset). She was adamant about moving straight into a new-to-her home instead of spending any time in a rental. I offered her money to move out earlier and she flat out refused. I threatened to walk away from mediation and resolve it in court, and she countered with a GAL. I don’t fear the outcome of a GAL. However, by the time a GAL provides a report and the final hearing gets scheduled, it would have been later than when she agreed (in writing) to leave the house. While not ideal, it was the best outcome given the circumstance.
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Re: Intro & Game Plan

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Mon Oct 23, 2017 12:08 pm

Considering the direction this could've gone (south), I'd say you did quite well Bro. Congrats.

Also, congrats to your STBX for doing the right thing.

Tom
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Re: Intro & Game Plan

Unread postby massdad1234 » Mon Oct 23, 2017 12:47 pm

other than the final decision making which essentially was pointless since you both can block each other, looks pretty solid.

How did that new lawyer work out for you? Were you the one doing most of the dealing or did they provide value?
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Re: Intro & Game Plan

Unread postby a dad » Mon Oct 23, 2017 1:35 pm

Well done, HaltAndCatchFire. Now you can stop, drop, and roll to put that fire out and take a deep breath. It's over. You did it. Congrats.
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Re: Intro & Game Plan

Unread postby MegaDad » Mon Oct 23, 2017 2:22 pm

Go have a beer or ten, you've earned it.
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Re: Intro & Game Plan

Unread postby a dad » Mon Oct 23, 2017 2:28 pm

massdad1234 wrote:How did that new lawyer work out for you?
He literally just posted the results.
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Re: Intro & Game Plan

Unread postby Trevor » Mon Oct 23, 2017 3:37 pm

Nice work, HaCF.

Wondering about the insurance thing...who is responsible for the out of pocket expenses she incurs during this interval? I'd hate for you to have to pay for Enrico Suave's fun bags that your X might be buying soon.
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