Community property...

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Community property...

Unread postby Cosette » Fri Apr 14, 2017 11:38 am

Southern California, Father of D2
Filed almost 4 months ago and still residing at the marital home.
STBX filed RFO for custody and because I haven't contributed to living expenses since filing (I am providing for my child and pays her health insurance and daycare directly in full) as well as other standard common things like diapers, milk, food...
Court date set in a few weeks
I have gotten a separate place that is move in ready for me and D2 and within a few miles from marital home to help win equal custody with the court (not the best option for my wallet but I hope it will be worth it).
I have removed most of my personal things and I started setting up D2 new place.
Question: D2 has plenty of clothing / accessories / shoes / toys... My understanding is that it's community property but there are things that I could use for the new place but STBX called me on it saying to bring it back (things that are no longer used and just sitting there).
I believe it is in D's interest to get some of her things to help with smoother transition.
Can't talk nor discuss anything with STBX but I won't go there.
What do I risk by removing a few things which are NOT USED?
What bugs me is that I haven't listed all these in the assets declaration... I only listed things valued at $100 and above but I guess I should have been crazy specific... Is it too late now? Why would STBX have to keep it all, it does add up if I have to purchase everything (not a huge deal, but still, doesn't seem fair).
Since I've been paying daycare in full, will I be required to continue paying it in full once we have a custody agreement?
I don't expect stbx to agree to a parenting plan at court date, what happens then... will the court order we go to mediation (first mandatory mediation was a total waste, stbx just complained during private interview and we were all sent home without a chance to sit around a table).
Thank you
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Re: Community property...

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Fri Apr 14, 2017 12:00 pm

Got half way through you post and had to stop to quickly post this:

DONT MOVE OUT!!!
I type butter on mah phon
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Re: Community property...

Unread postby Timeflies » Fri Apr 14, 2017 1:14 pm

You're in pretty bad shape at this point. Move out and there will be no need to post another question. Because you will be so broke it won't matter what toys of your daughter's you and the Sbtx are arguing over. You'll be toast!

You really need to get your head out of your butt and start studying for what your about to get into. I promise you this, you have no idea what is in-store for you at this point. How do I know this? I just read your post!

Start reading posts on here. How long have been on this forum and you don't the most basic of all in a divorce!?!?

Don't move out!!!!!!!!!
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Re: Community property...

Unread postby Cosette » Fri Apr 14, 2017 3:29 pm

You guys need to stop assuming things.
I never said I was moving out, I just said, I got a place to have everything ready for when a custody agreement is reached.
Now, I realize it's a big additional expense but it also proves I love my D.
This forum is great for saying don't move out... but then what? Can anyone shed a light wether the judge is going to care and give me a hard time because I took an unused toddler mattress that was getting dusty because it's indeed community property? Should I return it?
Should I amend the asset declaration and add a bulk amount for Child's items in hopes of minimizing my losses?
Gracias
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Re: Community property...

Unread postby gamingdad » Fri Apr 14, 2017 3:46 pm

So, basically you went out and got a place, getting it ready, fault us for saying don't move out, create questions about what needs to be bought, which further cememts moving out, but we are assuming?
You don't want a court order stating that you are responsible for both households, but this is how you get a court order being held responsible for both households.
READ YOUR PAPERWORK BEFORE SIGNING! IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS, ASK!
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Re: Community property...

Unread postby Chaos » Fri Apr 14, 2017 3:46 pm

I'm of the opinion that those things belong to your child, not the parents, so moving things to a place where they can't currently be used by the owner (child) is questionable. I also wouldn't put the child's belongings on your list of assets unless we were talking about a college fund, savings account, or heirloom furniture or something, for the same reason. No one here can tell you how your particular judge will feel about it.
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
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Re: Community property...

Unread postby Havalu7 » Fri Apr 14, 2017 3:52 pm

DONT MOVE OUT!!!

Ok well if so you will be one of thousands (well not really sure how many but a lot of guys) whom came back and say in a certain old cartoon dogs voice "Geee Davey I know you said not to go out on the ice".

Okay OP I did it you can too. It wont be easy but have that covert digital audio recorder going to defend against false domestic violence accusations and dig your heels in. ..at your house bro.
”No is a complete sentence” Unknown
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Re: Community property...

Unread postby JimRockford » Fri Apr 14, 2017 3:54 pm

Or you could between ads on Craisgslist, the Salvation Army and Goodwill find similar stuff for a couple of hundred bucks. She is filing, as you have not contributed to living expenses? Does that mean you have CS obligation that you have not been paying, but have somehow been coming up for the money for Residence 2? If so, I don't think that upcoming court date will be a good day for you.
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
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Re: Community property...

Unread postby Chaos » Fri Apr 14, 2017 4:07 pm

Sounds like he's not moving out, just prepping for when that day comes, and he's paying his and his child's expenses, but not his wife's. I'm not clear on if he's paying rent/mortgage, and utilities though. As no papers have been filed and they live together, he wouldn't have a child support obligation at this time.

There's a lot of jumping to infinity going on in this thread.
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
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Re: Community property...

Unread postby Cosette » Fri Apr 14, 2017 4:33 pm

I'm getting ahead, securing a place to hope for a settlement as STBX argument was, where is he gonna live?
Indeed, I have not directly contributed to the living expenses since that's what the forum advises here, not to pay anything until you are ordered to do so by the court (to maintain pressure and keep a strong hand).
I'm not against contributing but the amounts are nowhere close from what she expects and what I would agree... but that's a different issue.
Now, she "supposedly" want me out but STBX has been dragging the whole thing and will most likely continue to do so...
Everything is arguable, but I think it is in the child's best interest to have familiar items in both households rather than an item remaining unused. At least D is already familiar with daddy's place and has already taken many naps and enjoyed many meals and have her room with her toys (some new some from prior).
We're all on the same boat, believing we are doing what's best but it can be interpreted so many different ways to the judge.
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