What is the first step!??

Tips on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation tips for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Re: What is the first step!??

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Thu Apr 13, 2017 1:07 pm

Your first step is a well-orchestrated game plan. Have you read The List?? Are you buiding a list of your own?? It's not like you haven't had plenty of time, Bro. You joined this forum 11 months ago.

http://forum.dadsdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=13374

Additionally, are you keeping a well-written journal and parenting time tracker??

If you hope to get anything like 50/50, it's critical that you establish yourself as an active, involved father. You mustn't disparage your STBX. Instead, you need to lock yourself in as Superdad. For the past 11 mos, what have you done in this regard?? Have you got documentation to back it up??

B-Rad wrote:Recorded a good one tonight.....She lost it tonight and screamed, "I'm gonna call the police right now and say you are hurting me and threatening me."
Has your digital recorder been up and running 24/7??.....for the last 11 mos?? As you should know, it's your only defense against phony DV charges. It's not like you haven't had advance notice. All she hasta do is pick up the phone. For that matter, all she hasta do is say you threatened her 6 months ago.....and that would be enough to get you kicked out of the house. And with you out of the house, your case spirals down hill from there.

^^^ This isn't just the "first step," Bro. These are the fundamentals upon which your case is built.

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
Tom Kirkpatrick
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Re: What is the first step!??

Unread postby Minerva » Fri Apr 14, 2017 9:52 am

B-Rad wrote:
afc wrote:Why would you move out? You have an 11 year old daughter, right?

You stay put.

until a custody agreement is signed.



In South Carolina.

Like I said - what if she doesn't agree to anything and I have to serve her? What is the process if this is the case? I just stay and have a toxic marriage and my little girl is subjected to this shitshow of us arguing and I stay indefinitely?


If you have her served, then you stay put in the house running your recorder 24/7. You run a no-conflict life. At that point your marriage is over so you have nothing to argue over. You don't leave your house until you are ordered by a judge that you have to.

I would definitely start protecting your cash. Your salary should go to your personal account and close any joint credit cards. Stop giving her spending money. If she needs grocery money you go buy groceries.
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Re: What is the first step!??

Unread postby MegaDad » Fri Apr 14, 2017 12:11 pm

Further details on the above post.

If you haven't already done so, open a new account at an entirely different financial institution with you as the sole owner. If your employer offers direct deposit, have it reallocated to this new account. If you think your STBX may try to trick a teller or banker into letting her access the account, have the banker opening the account put notes on your profile that you are strictly the ONLY person allowed access. Be up front about it, full disclosure will help protect you.

Pay all the bills directly yourself. As for groceries, get a gift card with a specific amount and let her use that, or just take over that task yourself as well.
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Re: What is the first step!??

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Fri Apr 14, 2017 12:32 pm

Route all mail to a PO Box in your name only.

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
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