This is great info. I am dealing with an NPD and I can tell you that it has been very useful for me to understand NPD first.
iamthedad wrote:You might know it to be true but it's nearly impossible to get anyone else to see it. I'm dealing with one of these people and I'm still learning how to reduce things to "just the facts". Doing so has resulted in even more lashing out. It's hard to just ignore it, but it can be done. For those times when it can't this thread is good advice, but let's just call it PD, because that's what it is.
This is where you are going in the wrong direction. It is not for others to see it. I know my wife fits NPD description to a 'T' and that explains everything that happened so far. I had so many questions (about the things she did) before I went down this path. But after reading about NPD and PD in general, I understood what she did and why she did it. Not only that, my current situation and next steps became clear to me.
I have spoken to family about NPD. They give me blank stares (except my sister). A couple of close friends are also skeptical. So now when anyone asks why my wife did what she did, I just say something vague and simple like, who knows, or she has issues.
Prior to learning about PD's I used to think all humans are the same. That you can reason with anyone and make them see your way of thinking. That all disagreements in the world come from a lack of communication. I have now come across people at work who have a PD and I have now learned to use more tact with them. If I started going around saying this or that person has a PD, no one would believe me. But you need to learn to recognize these disorders and learn to adapt.