massdad1234 wrote:Also RE: Real world divorce, not that you shouldn't be cautions, but I also wanted to point out in the first paragraph the experience is drawn on:
Our questions regarding Massachusetts law and customs were answered by Gerald L. ("Jerry") Nissenbaum, a graduate of Boston University Law School (JD 1967, LLM Taxation 1985), who was admitted to the bar in 1967. Some ninety-five percent of Nissenbaum's practice has been in high-value, highly contested, often-international divorce cases. Over more than 46 years, he’s had a 50/50 mixture of male and female clients. Nissenbaum believes that he has handled "well over 8,000 cases" and, in estimating the number that went to trial, gave us the following breakdown:
1-2 trial days (well over 200 cases)
2-5 trial days (about 40 cases)
5-10 trial days (about 20 cases)
10-25 trial days (about 10 cases).
300 of 8,000 is 3.75% of these high value cases going to trial, with 2.5% approximately lasting less than 2 days.
Lawyers told us that filing a restraining order was standard practice for a Massachusetts custody litigant, but our researcher could not confirm this based on the files available to her. Only 17 divorce lawsuits out of 144 cases with children included a restraining order that she could find in the same file as the divorce. (It is possible that restraining orders were requested and granted in other venues and/or in separate proceedings within the Probate court.)
More than likely you will settle on the courthouse steps or sooner. Which is why I am optimistic based on the strategy and tactics shared with group. Doesn't mean I won't be whipped soundly, but i'll take my chances of staying strong and outlasting the STBX, be prepared, have a list of my own, recording 24x7, documenting everything, freezing her out of money, reducing conflict, and not giving legal advice or strategy to the STBX.
I refuse to let defeat come from within.
massdad1234 wrote:I would posit the numbers from the real world divorce don't back that up. The source for MA bears that out - Some ninety-five percent of Nissenbaum's practice has been in high-value, highly contested, often-international divorce cases. Of the 8,000+ cases, less than 2.5% that went to trial lasted more than 2 days. If the data aligns with as you believe, the research should have teased that out no?
How can the numbers tell the story one way, but not the other?
Again, OP you will more than likely settle, and if you follow the strategy to prevent you from being booted from the house (DVR 24/7), your chances increase significantly. I agree, being removed from the house isn't friendly to a dad's parenting goals, but there are also cases in this very forum from members who have battled back from that and achieved their outcomes.
The most important thing any dad can learn is never move out of the house, either voluntarily or involuntarily, otherwise your battle is significantly harder. I don't see anything in the real world divorce that counters that point. If you go to court and if you are high value and if you have a highly contested divorce and if and if and if....
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