Dating Before Divorce is Final

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Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby dave534 » Sun Apr 02, 2017 9:56 am

I am 5 months into my divorce. We had mediation in early February, and it was a disaster. So now we are moving toward trial.

My wife has already been dating, and has even gone on a 3 day trip to the coast with a guy.

From my understanding, her dating and infidelity after the divorce papers were served will not do much for my case.

Considering she is dating, what are the repercussions of me dating other women at this point?


Thanks!
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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby Trevor » Sun Apr 02, 2017 10:03 am

The fact that you've been here four months and you don't know our position on this indicates you only skim around here. The best way to leverage this forum is to engage with it.

I'll start. You're a moron if you consider making another mess before the mess you're in gets cleaned up. Want more?
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sun Apr 02, 2017 10:05 am

Another frequent topic related to your question is called the Mr. Wonderful Effect.

May I ask you a question, one I think you know the answer to - how long do you think this relationship will last with the wifey and her boyfriend?
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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby whatever_works » Sun Apr 02, 2017 5:53 pm

5 months is too early. A year after the divorce is final is the official position on these boards.
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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby dave534 » Sun Apr 02, 2017 8:39 pm

Thanks all for the replies.

The Mr Wonderful Effect reinforces my thoughts. Basically, my wife is catting-around, and when she gets tired of him, she will be on to someone new.

... and while she is pre-occuppied with him, it will give me a chance to go on the offensive.

Also, my kids are grown and out of the house. With that in mind, what is the advantage waiting one year after the divorce?
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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby RockyCali » Sun Apr 02, 2017 8:44 pm

dave534 wrote:what is the advantage waiting one year after the divorce?

What is the harm in waiting a year?
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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby Trevor » Sun Apr 02, 2017 8:46 pm

The man in the little pink canoe will distract you from closing this deal, prevent you from doing the introspective homework to set your feet solidly on your post divorce happiness, and will blow up your adversary's little mind, thus causing your divorce to cost a lot more (time, money, stress, peace, happiness). Worst of all it may color what your kids think about you...is it worth it?
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby Optimist630 » Mon Apr 03, 2017 10:25 am

If it is "If she gets to be happy and mess around then why can't I?" I think many of us can understand. Mr. W appeared in my home the day after I left. She already took him on a short trip to meet some family, with children on the trip. Ex was "smart" enough to not include our child on this trip because she'd havd to answer to me. Anyway, let her go after shiny things. Would it be fair to the women you would date at this point?

I am not even going to think about dating for a solid year. The divorce rattled me to my core. I don't need complicating factors. Find useful distractions. Tackle a bucket list item. I have picked the guitar back up for example.

Find out what you want and who post-divorcd you really is.
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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby Optimist630 » Mon Apr 03, 2017 10:43 am

Also, not sure about others here but 5 months in I felt ok, but as the end came and passed, the emotions ramped back up. I wouldnt have wanted to be dating me.
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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby lionel2013 » Mon Apr 03, 2017 11:11 am

Considering she is dating, what are the repercussions of me dating other women at this point?


Zero from a legal standpoint, but your dating other women will be a distraction to you, therefore not a good thing.
Whenever you think divorce is bad, remember there are worse things than divorce.
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