Dating Before Divorce is Final

Tips on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation tips for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby afc » Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:17 am

steelmark wrote:So one of the cons is the potential of a bad deal where you miss out on time with your kids, cool.

Is there any pro that counters that?



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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby DadWantsMore » Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:18 am

No no pros counters that. Kinda my point. Yeah, it can be fun there are good times, but the cons outweighed the pros by not waiting for the dust to settle. In case 1 I didn't wait tile a year after the divorce was finalized but I waited till all the dust was settled. That would be my advice: wait till the dust is settled.

His kids are grown, so he might not miss out the time with his kids like I did, but if they are still sorting through divisions of everything or other marital issues, the dust isn't settled. He can still get distracted and take bad deals that he wouldn't have taken if he had his head as distraction free as possible.
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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby afc » Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:21 am

You said you left wife 2 FOR your gf.

Didnt you have any concerns about the character of a woman who would be a party to that? A woman who would knowingly date a married man with a child?

Why couldnt she have said "look, I like you a lot. Call me when you are officially divorced" instead of jumping into the drama?
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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:23 am

If you are a dad trying to obtain custody and are dating rather than working to build a war chest and reading case law to assist your case, don't whine about your results.

But where the forum says it cannot work, I'm still with her after 2 years. More than 2 years.


Put a zero behind the 2 and you may have a point.
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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby DadWantsMore » Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:25 am

Fatheroffour wrote:If you are a dad trying to obtain custody and are dating rather than working to build a war chest and reading case law to assist your case, don't whine about your results.

But where the forum says it cannot work, I'm still with her after 2 years. More than 2 years.


Put a zero behind the 2 and you may have a point.


I've been told there by this forum there is no strategy for me to obtain custody or 50 50. I'm here to forewarn anyone I see about to make a similar mistake.
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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:36 am

There is always a strategy to get 50/50. Whether you want to follow that strategy or not is on you.

But if you are dating or remarried it becomes pretty much impossible.
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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby DadWantsMore » Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:47 am

lovingfatherof2 wrote:There is always a strategy to get 50/50. Whether you want to follow that strategy or not is on you.

But if you are dating or remarried it becomes pretty much impossible.


According to the forum where I posted my thread there is no strategy because to do anything would be against my first daughter's best interest. In that thread I was specifically told some problems can't be fixed.
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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:54 am

Yeah, multiple children with multiple women has the potential to create some problems that cant be readily fixed on your own.
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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Wed Apr 12, 2017 9:04 am

Yeah I wouldn't give advice on dating when your dating created a child that now will be raised by someone else.

Just sayin
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Re: Dating Before Divorce is Final

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Wed Apr 12, 2017 9:19 am

Chasbo wrote:I think it depends on a lot of things. What do you mean by dating? What is your financial, legal, emotional situation?

You definitely have the potential to complicate things.

On the other hand, it took me 2 years to get a relatively amicable divorce. And I did date. I would say the benefits outweighed the negatives, but just barely. It's a crazy time and catastrophes are quite possible. Out of the frying pan into the fire.

I've seen guys who put other women in front of their kids. The result is losing their kids and losing the other woman as well down the line. Who respects a flake.


What would those things be?

The pros of dating would be ...distraction? Enjoyment? Feeling better about oneself? I assume those were the sort of benefits you received that outweighed the negatives. I know you're a stud but these dates werent paying your rent and attorneys fees were they?
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