Identified My Wife's Boyfriend

Tips on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation tips for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Identified My Wife's Boyfriend

Unread postby dave534 » Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:08 am

I am 54. I am 5 months into the Divorce. We had mediation about a month ago, but she walked out because I was asking for too much. She has a load of Separate Property, and there is not much to the Community Property.

The wife has about 3 Mil in inheritance. During 25 years of marriage, she assured me that it was "ours," even though it was in her name. Well when she handed me Divorce papers, it immediately became hers. So I'm screwed in that regard.

I still have access to her Google Calendar, and tonight I found two calendar events: 1) Feb 24, Dinner with Bob, 2) March 22 - 25, Port A Get Away with Bob.

I have just forwarded the information to my Attorney, and I have submitted a request to a Private Investigator to call me tomorrow.

Being 5 months into this, I am really just numb. I've lost my wife, and marriage. This is messing with my kids (19 & 21), and my retirement is going to be blasted back to the stone age.

Will her infidelity have any weight in the court room in my favor?
Will it give me an advantage when the Judge decides the split of Community Property?

... and of course, any other advice on how to get through this would be greatly appreciated.


Dave
dave534
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2016 9:53 pm

Re: Identified My Wife's Boyfriend

Unread postby Jesus Christ » Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:23 am

Dinner and a trip with Bob proves infidelity? Good luck with that one. What state do you two reside?
People get the justice they can afford.
Jesus Christ
100+ Posts
 
Posts: 453
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:58 am
Location: Hiding in a Syrian brothel

Re: Identified My Wife's Boyfriend

Unread postby astrolink » Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:32 am

dave534 wrote:
I have just forwarded the information to my Attorney, and I have submitted a request to a Private Investigator to call me tomorrow.


Waste of money. It will play no bearing on the separation of assets.
“There are those that look at things the way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?”
astrolink
500+ Posts
 
Posts: 744
Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2014 1:54 am

Re: Identified My Wife's Boyfriend

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:50 am

Since you are in Texas, her extramarital affair isn't relevant to the division of assets...according to the law.
User avatar
Fatheroffour
Moderator
 
Posts: 35873
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:37 am
Location: Top of the world

Re: Identified My Wife's Boyfriend

Unread postby grandetaco » Mon Mar 20, 2017 8:01 am

Don't let atty pull your emotional strings, be objective.
Ask atty what is the game plan? what will atty do with PI report?

It will be $$$, are you ready for that?
“A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.”
grandetaco
500+ Posts
 
Posts: 867
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 7:59 am

Re: Identified My Wife's Boyfriend

Unread postby JimRockford » Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:46 am

Wish her and Bob well, and come up with a plan to live on 1.5 Mil less than you were six months ago.
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
JimRockford
500+ Posts
 
Posts: 946
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2015 12:48 am

Re: Identified My Wife's Boyfriend

Unread postby MegaDad » Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:58 am

My understanding is that her possible affair will have no legal bearing on your case.

However, if mediation ever strikes up again, it could be possible to use an affair as leverage. Some people are very concerned about their reputations in the community, and the threat of exposing an affair can sometimes get them to play ball. How involved is your STBX with your community? Is she well known?

Just food for thought.
User avatar
MegaDad
100+ Posts
 
Posts: 303
Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2014 5:22 pm

Re: Identified My Wife's Boyfriend

Unread postby JimRockford » Mon Mar 20, 2017 11:50 am

dave534 wrote:I
I still have access to her Google Calendar, and tonight I found two calendar events: 1) Feb 24, Dinner with Bob, 2) March 22 - 25, Port A Get Away with Bob.

Dave


I'm betting that she knows that you have access to this calendar and is using it to taunt you. Unless her name is Debby and she is "doing Dallas," I'm sure she knows who she is going away with for 3 days. You need to disconnect here and lose the PW to the calendar.
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
JimRockford
500+ Posts
 
Posts: 946
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2015 12:48 am

Re: Identified My Wife's Boyfriend

Unread postby Trevor » Mon Mar 20, 2017 6:21 pm

I'd also bet that the inferred social shame of adultery never materializes to be leveraged in a negotiation.
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
Trevor
Moderator
 
Posts: 22767
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 8:55 pm

Re: Identified My Wife's Boyfriend

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Mon Mar 20, 2017 8:39 pm

You can't shame the shameless.
User avatar
Fatheroffour
Moderator
 
Posts: 35873
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:37 am
Location: Top of the world

Next

Return to Before and During Divorce Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bruce Banner, Data and 9 guests