Yeah, ditch the calendar thing.
When my separation was fresh, and my ex had court-ordered time to get her stuff out of the house (the one she left for the DV shelter), I had co-opted the whiteboard calendar on the fridge as my own, and on a bunch of dates I put some letters, like a P with a circle around it. A couple days later, "R?" ... just a few of these. Not overboard. I caught her staring at it during one point so it served its purpose. But in the grand scheme of things it was pretty meaningless.