Scorched earth or good enough deal?

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Re: Scorched earth or good enough deal?

Unread postby dofb » Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:56 am

Ok, those are fair comments.
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Re: Scorched earth or good enough deal?

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:10 am

By the way, take a look at http://www.thelizlibrary.org for a similar experience that woman enjoy here. Ask yourself how long you can tolerate reading that site for the hope of finding the wifey posting?

As long as we are mentioning forums - take a look regularly at the forums at FreeAdvice.com, they are an interesting balance to this forum, and you will be surprised to see very similar in advice. The commonality between the two is the focus on Best Interest of the Children, if your wifey is looking for you on various forums, it is equally likely she will be exposed to similar concepts as here. While strictly a legal forum, compared to ours as a tactics and strategy forum, it's a worthy read occasionally to see how the judicial system operates.

Indiana has a Parenting Guideline that is comprehensive and standard, are you familiar with them yet?
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Re: Scorched earth or good enough deal?

Unread postby dofb » Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:04 am

Yes, I have read the standard parenting time guidelines. I don't like them and will insist on modification. She's already proposing modifications for the older kids - 2 overnights during the week and EOW. Based on parenting time trackers, there will be CS anyway. I haven't had a chance to read the indiana statutes completely yet.
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Re: Scorched earth or good enough deal?

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:28 am

One of our favorite members - Hoosier_Dad - writes a lot about the Indiana State Guidelines. He also works as a janitor around here, so he might see this soon, but you should pop him a PM to get his attention tomorrow.

His personal case, long since settled, may have some relevance to yours.

I'm not a big fan of the list, it's outdated and suggests things that will give you dirty hands in the Courtroom. Can we talk about what is appropriate now, in 2017, rather than 2005 when the list was published? Can we work on your own list?
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Re: Scorched earth or good enough deal?

Unread postby hoosier_dad » Sun Mar 19, 2017 1:08 pm

dofb wrote:Indiana. I want 50/50.


If you want 50/50 then you need to make 50/50 for all work now. And the following should never be stated to your STBX or OC:

dofb wrote:For child 3, I want 50/50 as soon as she's in kindergarten. Child 4, I want to transition to weekends in the next few years and then to 50/50.


I think I missed it, but how old is your youngest? Courts are not going to order multiple parenting plans unless both parents agree, so stating that you are perfectly willing to take the standard EOW parenting plan for the two youngest will most likely rubber stamp that parenting plan for all your children.

During my divorce process my youngest was 4, pre-K and in daycare. I fought for 50/50 and won, and made it work until my youngest was school age. I walked into court with a daily plan down to the minute for all the children, when we'd get up, eat, drop offs at daycare, school for the older children, pickups etc. This plan also included the name, address and phone number of the specific daycare with an opening for my child. You need to present a case making it clear you can manage 50/50 custody today for all your children or you will most likely receive the standard EOW plan with an uphill fight for more time in the future.

I don't have the case law on hand, but want to point out the standard EOW plan laid out in the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines is the minimum parenting time deemed healthy for the parent/child relationship and was never meant to be the normal parenting time for the non-custodial parent.
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Re: Scorched earth or good enough deal?

Unread postby dofb » Sun Mar 19, 2017 1:24 pm

Hoosierdad, can I give you a ring or a PM? My youngest is 1. Did you have to pay CS and SS after 50/50?
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Re: Scorched earth or good enough deal?

Unread postby gamingdad » Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:00 pm

While pm is nice, it takes away the purpose of the forum which is to help each other out by sharing in a global scenario. What you post could help those that show up after you to get help here.
Generalities over time I have found work best.
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Re: Scorched earth or good enough deal?

Unread postby dofb » Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:51 pm

I have no problem doing 50/50 for the older three kids. Even with the youngest one (who's one), there are no options. The two issues are the fact that my work is 60 minutes away and the finances to handle it. If I didn't pay CS or SS, no problem. All taken care of. Current offer from STBX is for the older two to have four days starting Thursday every other week and two days during the week on the other week plus half vacations. The third one is in flux because weekends are no problem, but during the week would be. The 1 year old is the only one I don't have a grasp on yet. To the state, I make too much money, but when I factor in all other items I would have to pay, hat goes to barely minimum.
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Re: Scorched earth or good enough deal?

Unread postby hoosier_dad » Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:29 pm

I do pay significant CS even with 50/50 parenting time. My ex was a SAHM for 10+ years and worked minimal weekly hours at the time of divorce, so the difference in gross incomes accounts for that calculated amount.

I also paid temporary maintenance during the period between the preliminary ruling and the final ruling. Since maintenance in Indiana is considered rehabilitative and capped at 3 years (barring a disabled spouse), it's pretty difficult to get it awarded after the final decree if your STBX has previous education or is currently working.

You need to look into other work options. Either finding employment closer to your children's school system, or work with your employer on options like telecommuting. I was able to rework my schedule so I can work in the office on days I have my children, then pick them up from school and work remotely from home the rest of the afternoon. It's worth explaining your situation and see what's possible.
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Re: Scorched earth or good enough deal?

Unread postby dofb » Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:47 pm

She has verbally agreed to 50/50. And even agreed to how much she would ask in SS and CS. Now, do we just give that to the lawyers or are the amounts and $$$ good to go?
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