New member, and I've been reading tons of posts, but I have questions.
1. Journal: Conflicting information on the journal. All info says it's for Super Dad documentation, but some people say it's also for documenting bad STBX interactions, and some say it's not. Which one is it? I see the value of documenting everything, but should it be two journals?
Also, writing things down physically isn't practical. She already found the hard copy I made of the conversations she had with dozens of guys on Jango, including one who lived in our town and claimed to be a gentleman. I can hide things on computer and send that document back and forth between work and home to make journaling easier.
2. Radio Silence: Radio silence is understood, but what if killing your social media would be a tipoff? In my case I could kill nearly all other social media sites, but if I suddenly didn't have Facebook, my wife would start snooping around for what I "did have". It would make her suspicious. Correction - it would make her more suspicious, because she's terminally insecure, paranoid, and she has histrionic personality disorder according to psych degree D25. So, should I instead go through my Facebook systematically over time and delete anything that is "suspicious", particularly things she may have complained about in the past?
Side note on that: It's a double standard where if I have a female friend whose status I comment on, that's "cheating", but if she has a model friend who has pictures of himself with just a washcloth over his junk and she has a PM with him, that's "so what?" Also, remaining on FB allows me to screenshot her shenanigans more easily, particularly her snide comments to me or about me.
3. Don't Leave The House: We've been married for 21 years. I've been the sole breadwinner and she a SAHM for the last 10 years. We have D25 with GS1, S14 (fraternal twin), S14 (fraternal twin with autism), niece 17 (STBX brother's daughter, we've been legal guardians for 8 years, has ADHD, etc.). We've also lived in the same house for the past 10 years, and kids want to stay in the same school system with just high school to go.
Question: You think I should just tough it out for 4 more years and then file without kids being an issue? Or, if I decide to file soon, is there any real point in putting the kids through a long process of 2 or more years when there's 4 left? In other words, does the "don't leave the home" rule, which I totally understand in most cases, really apply to me here since there's probably little chance I'd get full custody anyway?
4. Recorder: Should this be used all the time up to D-Day (meaning the day you file), or only after you file while you're still cohabitating? Is that discretionary, depending on your particular situation?
Thank you in advance for your comments.