Very sorry you got blindsided by this, its a < feces-like > situation that you just have to slog through and come out as clean as you can on the other side. No other way about it, as another poster said, this divorce is going to happen wither you participate or not.
You have been given some great advice so far, and I urge you to follow it. If you need clarification on something, or why you should do a certain thing, we will be happy to make sure you understand the counsel we are providing.
I will add my own piece to the pie here, READ OTHER THREADS. As you can see we have the different topics divided up, I recommend perusing other threads in the Before and During Divorce section. You will start to see common threads among many of the posters here, and you will also see the same advice given again and again for particular situations. This is because it has been found to be effective, so discount nothing!
*You will need to develop a thick skin here. We are here to help but we don't pull punches. We tell you what you NEED to hear, not nessesarily what you may WANT to hear. Capiche?