Wife's 4th Attorney just quit

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Re: Wife's 4th Attorney just quit

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 4:40 pm

Never know :lol:

I have to imagine that stbx is very stressed and financially strapped, 4 lawyers would cost a small fortune. Now might be a good time to come at her with a settlement but what does she want in order to settle this?
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Re: Wife's 4th Attorney just quit

Unread postby whatever_works » Wed Mar 15, 2017 5:26 pm

For the first 2 years there was a restraining order so no settlement was discussed. Last six months I broke the "radio silence" cardinal rule and emailed her several times. I have only made her offers to talk in short respectful ways. But she is unwilling to talk. I have given up hopes of a settlement except in the lawyers way. And I have gone back to implementing radio silence for the last couple of weeks (it will take longer duration silence to have any effect).

As for stress, my d10 has told me in the last few weeks that my ex-wife is very stressed. She has outbursts at the drop of a hat.
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Re: Wife's 4th Attorney just quit

Unread postby whatever_works » Wed Mar 15, 2017 6:47 pm

lionel2013 wrote:Seems to me you have a number of misplaced expectations. Might want to have a quick chat with your own lawyer to find out what you can expect going forward.


I do have conversations with my lawyer once or twice a month and I wasn't expecting the judge to set her straight. I was asking if there is a way for me to lead the judge into seeing the problem - which is that my wife and her family are trying to abuse the legal system to harass me (and now my parents). I have a feeling that the judge in my case has already started looking at my wife as the bad guy - starting with the drug charge - and I just want to keep him pointed in that direction.

lovingfatherof2 wrote:I would come at her with a settlement offer.

What is it she wants in order to settle this?


She wants everything and the moon. The problem is that she got all that and more in the temporary order. I was stupid and stressed when this drama started. She has 100% custody, she has child support which is about 25-30% over state guideline. And she knows that she is not going to get all this in any settlement. So she just wants to drag it for as long as she can. Thankfully (!) I got laid off last month and am now awaiting my motion for changing CS next week. Once/if that kicks in, she will have at least one reason to settle. My guess is that she will still drag it to see if I buckle and get a job before settling. Funny thing is, I might.
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Re: Wife's 4th Attorney just quit

Unread postby Havalu7 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 8:08 pm

Boot to throat! Keep her off balance.

Make an offer but. ..keep jabing and keeping her off guard dude.
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Re: Wife's 4th Attorney just quit

Unread postby whatever_works » Wed Mar 15, 2017 8:21 pm

Havalu7 wrote:Boot to throat! Keep her off balance.

Make an offer but. ..keep jabing and keeping her off guard dude.


I don't know how to do that. I don't know what to offer her and how to keep her off guard.

I don't want to send her some lame emails. I did not approach her after the restraining order was removed. She waited a few months. I could tell that she (and her family) was confused by the lack of communication from me.

Then she started asking what my plan was and I wrote a longer email saying we can agree to do guideline child support and 50-50 asset split. The only thing we don't agree on is the custody. I said to her that we can leave custody to the judge and we can settle the rest 1 on 1 and then have the lawyers bless the agreement.

She never replied to that email. As far as I know she was also working on the proposal with her lawyer while arguing with her at the same time. Then her brother started this nonsense (in India). My guess is that he told her to wait while he tries his thing.

And today I learned that her lawyer has had enough. To be honest, she is keeping me guessing.
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Re: Wife's 4th Attorney just quit

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Thu Mar 16, 2017 6:11 am

I think your right, this is going to trial.

Ask your lawyer to file a motion asking for a trial to end this insanity. Do it before she hires another lawyer.
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Re: Wife's 4th Attorney just quit

Unread postby whatever_works » Thu Mar 16, 2017 7:41 am

I was going to wait until next week to speak to my lawyer. Do you suggest talking now? That way he could file a motion for that same date next week.

Also, wouldn't the judge be more inclined to give her time to find a lawyer instead of pushing forth with a trial?

I also have a home with her that she agrees to sell but has not said anything about where she (or more appropriately the kids) intends to live after the sale. That is what delayed the trial date in January and that is what the judge is going to ask about now.
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Re: Wife's 4th Attorney just quit

Unread postby SoxFan1986 » Thu Mar 16, 2017 10:41 am

Sorry to read your Situation and hear about the job loss. I would email mail her directly one last "big picture" offer. If she accepts get your lawyer to draw up the papers. If she reject or don't reply go radio silent.

She will probably reject. So part 2, with your job loss can you get a CS adjustment and withstand a long-term period without working? Whatever it takes, borrow money from friends and family; live off visa charge card. I realized this is a last resort but it may be the only thing to bring her to the table. Hang in there....
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Re: Wife's 4th Attorney just quit

Unread postby whatever_works » Fri Mar 17, 2017 8:16 am

Thanks sox. I can go a while without working but the problem is that the boredom is killing me and I am ruining my career. It will be harder to find a job the longer I without one.

As for emailing her, my guess is that between finding a new lawyer and waiting for court date next week, she is busy and will not respond to any emails without getting a new lawyer first.

And a correction - the letter sent to my parents in India is from my wife. She hired a lawyer in India to draft a notice and send it to my parents. That changes things. I will be talking to my lawyer (here) about this.
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Re: Wife's 4th Attorney just quit

Unread postby big guy » Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:30 am

My guess is that you have 2 more years before a trial is done. It could go far longer if she wants. You need to get on with your life as much as you can be getting a job, pracitcing good self care and being a great dad.
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