Question about starting of a divorce - signing papers

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Re: Question about starting of a divorce - signing papers

Unread postby bigDoodle66 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 1:19 pm

She moved out just over a year ago and took the baby (2 now)



What has been your parenting plan the last year? How often do you "father" your child?

This will be looked at by a judge. If you have not been involved for a year now, your wife can claim child abandonment.
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Re: Question about starting of a divorce - signing papers

Unread postby jblue » Wed Mar 15, 2017 1:20 pm

Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:
jblue wrote:She says these have to be filled out and then the lawyer will print up the UNCONTESTED divorce papers.....
Right....."she says." I'll bet a week's pay "she" makes no mention of a parenting plan.

Translation for "the lawyer" = "Her lawyer." Be careful of word usage, Bro.

Rule #1 - Never take legal advice from your STBX.

Rule #2 - Get your own attorney.

Rule #3 - Maintain radio silence. You must never tip your hand.

jblue wrote:I am thinking of going for custody.....
Florida is a 50/50 state. Do not sign anything until you've got a parenting plan locked in.

BTW - 50/50 is considered best interest.

Tom



"All this is" right now is a Parenting Plan being drawn up by us ...and then the financial documents that include salary, debt, monthly bills etc etc. The Parenting Plan WILL be 50/50 ....it won't be full custody for anyone. But right now she has my son. And I do not feel it is a good situation for him in the least.

if we can do it ourselves.... it would save money obviously. But obviously, as you pointed out...."She says" ..... the lawyer . I'm just questioning the process and if I am signing my soul away. Should I just do the Parenting Plan? According to my wife we fill these papers out first....then the lawyers drafts up the paperwork for us to sign. I wasn't sure if I do the Parenting Plan and the financials.... I can then not agree to whatever is in the divorce paperwork etc. And if I seek Child Custody (me wanting to be the one he lives with most but can see his mom without issue) ...I didn't know if it would be too late after I did this current paperwork.... which im guessing hearing myself say it....would have to include his living arrangements which would obviously already be assumed to be staying with her and I get him every other weekend (which I think is too infrequently....but aware it is "the norm")
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Re: Question about starting of a divorce - signing papers

Unread postby jblue » Wed Mar 15, 2017 1:22 pm

bigDoodle66 wrote:
She moved out just over a year ago and took the baby (2 now)



What has been your parenting plan the last year? How often do you "father" your child?

This will be looked at by a judge. If you have not been involved for a year now, your wife can claim child abandonment.


She had left a year ago (along with him and her 2 girls). I am always involved in his life and saw him as much as i could .....anywhere between every weekend (hanging out over there ) or most recently having him fri- sun (every weekend for the past month - which wont be as frequent as that ..she wants me to do every other weekend ..)
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Re: Question about starting of a divorce - signing papers

Unread postby jblue » Wed Mar 15, 2017 1:27 pm

lionel2013 wrote:
I am THINKING of going for custody - as in...I do not have any money... I am afraid that being the Father leaves me at a disadvantage even though it's not supposed to.


Please elaborate a bit. Do you have a job, or are you unemployed? What do you mean, "I am afraid that being the Father leaves me at a disadvantage even though it's not supposed to"? You're not making much sense - is English your second language?

But if I were to try to guess what you mean: never mind your expected emotional attachment to your child - but if finances are of concern, then you definitely want at least 50/50 custody, because otherwise you'll be paying child support.

Stop listening to your "wife" [why the quotes? another ESL thing?], get your own lawyer, and do not sign or agree to anything, especially custody, before you have your won legal representation - not wifey's.



When you say 50/50 do you mean LITERALLY - I would have to get him half of the time 2 weeks a month? or are you just referring to NOBODY having full custody. My wife suggested I get him every other weekend (Fri-Sun).

And in regards to custody.... I am just afraid of how much it will cost... and that I will have gone broke for no reason because even though the courts are supposed to be bi-partial.......im sure Dad's do not get a fair shake still.

And yes, I am employed.

And back to the 50/50 and you then implying I wouldnt have to pay child support....is this true? And again - what is your definition of 50/50. I figured I would have to pay child support regardless....unless I was the one he spent the most time with
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Re: Question about starting of a divorce - signing papers

Unread postby lionel2013 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 1:38 pm

And back to the 50/50 and you then implying I wouldnt have to pay child support....is this true? And again - what is your definition of 50/50. I figured I would have to pay child support regardless....unless I was the one he spent the most time with


50/50 means the child will spend half the time with you, and half the time with the mother. Can't really say who will have to pay CS to whom without knowing specifics of your finances and those of your STBX, but if you do have to pay any CS it sure will be less for 50% custody than if she gets residential custody and you get the EOW type deal.

You may think you will be saving money with paying for just one attorney but it may easily cost you a lot more, long term, if you do.

Stop listening to your STBX and get your own [local] lawyer.
Whenever you think divorce is bad, remember there are worse things than divorce.
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Re: Question about starting of a divorce - signing papers

Unread postby jblue » Wed Mar 15, 2017 1:58 pm

I would honestly never do that 50/50 thing. And I don't get why it exists. If i had the choice of getting him EOW or getting him HALF the time.... I'd do EOW unfortunately. I'd hate it....but I would never want him to be shipped around like that. How do you spend half the time one place...then half at the other. That sounds like a MESS for the kid. And unfortunately, I'd "rather" have him EOW in that case....for HIS sake. No matter how much I'd suffer
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Re: Question about starting of a divorce - signing papers

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Wed Mar 15, 2017 2:03 pm

If you think your child being under your care half of the time is detrimental to the child, you're probably right.
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Re: Question about starting of a divorce - signing papers

Unread postby jblue » Wed Mar 15, 2017 2:05 pm

Fatheroffour wrote:If you think your child being under your care half of the time is detrimental to the child, you're probably right.


not quite sure what you meant by that, but hopefully not how I took it lol
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Re: Question about starting of a divorce - signing papers

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Wed Mar 15, 2017 2:09 pm

Its likely you took it the right way.


The inverse of what I stated is also true. If you believe your child will benefit from your care, it probably will.
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Re: Question about starting of a divorce - signing papers

Unread postby jblue » Wed Mar 15, 2017 2:15 pm

Fatheroffour wrote:Its likely you took it the right way.


The inverse of what I stated is also true. If you believe your child will benefit from your care, it probably will.



Wow........ okay. What I meant was........ I believe a child should have a stable,consistent environment. Not shuffled back and forth half the time.
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