How can I not move out?

Tips on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation tips for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Re: How can I not move out?

Unread postby whatever_works » Wed Mar 15, 2017 8:54 pm

In addition to what has been said above, OP you need to keep long term vs short term in mind. Divorce being an emotional process, it is easy to lose sight of what you want long term vs what you must do short term. And with men, it is an even bigger problem because most of us want to do the "right thing" long term and short term.

Sometimes, doing something counter intuitive short term pays off in the long term. This is definitely one of those things. If you stay in your home, you will get a head start in your divorce process. If you move out now, you may end up fighting a longer battle to get where you want.
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Re: How can I not move out?

Unread postby gamingdad » Wed Mar 15, 2017 9:19 pm

Stop having sex with her.
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Re: How can I not move out?

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Wed Mar 15, 2017 11:13 pm

kayak4511 wrote:.....she isn't working right now..got laid off a few months back.....she is looking for work however.....
1) New Jersey. 2) Long term marriage; 25 yrs. 3) Unemployed wife. Did you know, those are perfect conditions for lifetime alimony?? Are you prepared for that??

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Re: How can I not move out?

Unread postby Optimist630 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 11:30 pm

I stayed in my bargaining chip, I mean house, until the very end. It wasn't easy. In fact most of it we were in the same bed so as to not disrupt the kids life. (That part I admit was a mistake, emotionslly). It was weird but it got me everything I ever actually needed I had to pretend I desperately wanted it, but I am very glad I did so. It comes down to whether you want to operate from strength or weakness. It is very hard. Everything worth doing is difficult. You came here for a reason.
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Re: How can I not move out?

Unread postby sportsfan8299 » Sat Mar 18, 2017 6:13 am

FlyGuySLO wrote:You will get the same advice from others but...

Do. Not. Move. Out.

I have posted this on other threads but your indecision warrants me posting it here for you. This is my advice about making the divorce decision...

Good luck.


Just wanted confirm the great advice. I posted a similar don't know what to do post as my original post in January and FlyGuy left me the same advice which was very beneficial to me.

I just filed for divorce on Thursday and had the conversation with her last night.

The other advice I would give is to go to therapy. I have been going since that post and it has helped me tremendously prepare myself emotionally for all of this and finally helped me have confidence that what felt was really how I felt regardless of how she told be I really felt or should feel.
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