Listen to this forum

Tips on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation tips for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Re: Listen to this forum

Unread postby JimRockford » Wed Mar 15, 2017 7:20 pm

There is always someone else. That someone may be:

1. A real dude that she is getting it on with
2. A real dude that she is seeing that she wants to get it on with and it's just a matter of time until they get it on
3. A real dude that she knows that she would like to get it on with. This dude may be clueless, does not want her, or does not want to get involved with someone else's wife
4. A real dude that exists and she imagines getting it on with
5. An imaginary dude that does not exist that she would like to exist to get it on with

I'm sure that there are few more scenarios that I have not thought of. However, the common denominator is that she is emotionally gone and she is not coming back. So at the end of the day the feeling is really the same.
Last edited by JimRockford on Thu Mar 16, 2017 5:17 am, edited 3 times in total.
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
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Re: Listen to this forum

Unread postby Optimist630 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 7:37 pm

Great point. It doesn't matter if, who or how many.

The weird thing is when you don't even want that person, yet you still feel slighted because they didn't want you. It's pretty irrational when you break it down. Like being upset that you weren't invited to a party you don't even want to go to. A bunch of wasted emotion.

You can't marry a concept and you cannot stay married to one either. I put forth a lot of effort to try to at least do my best to avoid there being innocent victims paying the price. I do feel I can put my head down at night knowing this. I don't love the person I was for a few months when I was desperately trying to make things work. In the moment you refuse to believe it's wasted effort, even though looking back it of course was. But don't beat yourself up for becoming weak. We at least put what was happening out there for the other side to see. We were never afforded that luxury in most cases.

I also think those months I became a pitiful version of myself, I have felt like she needed to pay for. It's not going to happen and I need to just realize that and move on. I was played for a fool but that is more on the crappy person than the one on the receiving end. Do you want to be desired by a crappy person? If not, I guess all of the answers are right there. No loss.
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Re: Listen to this forum

Unread postby JimRockford » Wed Mar 15, 2017 7:47 pm

It was months not years and you learned something about yourself in the process and also that you would never end up there again then it was not wasted.
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
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Re: Listen to this forum

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Thu Mar 16, 2017 6:08 am

I don't know about you guys but I am amazed at how the tables have now turned, I bet im not alone either.

My ex has hit the wall at full throttle, she is miserable, her world is crumbling. The fairy tale she was living has now vanished and her looks have completely abandoned her to make matters even worse.

Me though? Im doing great! I feel great, I look great, im on top of my game in all areas of my life and I am kicking serious < hindquarters >. Life is awesome right now!! And its killing her 8 )
I type butter on mah phon
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Re: Listen to this forum

Unread postby hoosier_dad » Thu Mar 16, 2017 7:42 am

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Re: Listen to this forum

Unread postby JimRockford » Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:27 am

Hoosier Dad:

Did you see my review of "Bridges of Madison County" earlier in this thread?
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
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Re: Listen to this forum

Unread postby MegaDad » Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:56 am

I'll admit it was pretty rough finding out there was someone else, especially because it was someone who knew our family well and while I didn't consider him my BFF or anything, I thought he was a cool guy and was glad to know him. I feel it takes a hell of a lot of selfishness on both their parts, because each of them knew exactly what they were doing. I had snooped on her phone near the end (sh_itty, I know, cant turn back time though) and they had even discussed the possible effects this might have on the boys......still didn't stop them. I honestly don't know if considering the children makes it better, or much, much worse.

In retrospect however, I think it was easier on me that she left me for someone else. She simply thought she could do better. If she had left me and there was no one waiting on her, I think I would have taken a way bigger hit to my self esteem. "Like, really? Being with NO ONE is preferable to being with me? Man I must really suck!" Lol, at least I didn't have to deal with that level of mind-fu_ckery.
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Re: Listen to this forum

Unread postby Chasbo » Thu Mar 16, 2017 10:48 am

I'm another guy left like trash on the side of the road.

The last 5 years have had a lot of ups and downs. But basically they have been the best of my life. I've so enjoyed being rid of the crazy btch. I've loved having my kids and just living my life without constant harassment.


The worst time of my life turned somehow into the best.
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Re: Listen to this forum

Unread postby RockyCali » Thu Mar 16, 2017 2:36 pm

Chasbo wrote:The worst time of my life turned somehow into the best.

Growth never comes the way we would have expected or planned it, does it?
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Re: Listen to this forum

Unread postby hoosier_dad » Thu Mar 16, 2017 3:04 pm

JimRockford wrote:Hoosier Dad:

Did you see my review of "Bridges of Madison County" earlier in this thread?


I did, and I've always found it absurd that it is held up as a chick-flick love story. The meme wasn't meant to be a commentary on the discussion in this thread, but an additional observation on how different each gender views the same movie.
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