Married 25 years. Caught wife cheating with co-worker last year. She immediately ended it and put herself thru intense therapy. Lots of FOO issues. I personally worked hard on MY OWN issues. Months and months of IC, MC. Months pass, we are slowly recovering. Things seem ok, but I still have issues with her and OM working together. Wife gets decent promotion at work now, but as time goes on, I'm growing uncomfortable with them still working together, even tho W assures me nothing is going on. I have total transparency to her work emails, phone, etc.
Long story short, even with my own IC and MC, I've lost trust. I can't work through it. I've tried EMDR, I've tried hypnosis, I gave it a full year. Nothing is helping. Spent literally $6k in all that therapy. Even if she quit, the trust is gone. Our last MC, she said she can't live under a microscope any longer (I have snooping issues). She wants to separate now, can't take my constant lack of trust.
I'm ok with all this. We tried.
So here's the questions:
1. Two children live with us - ages 26 and 16. The 26 is an adult, so it doesn't matter. The 16 does NOT want anything to do with mom. She states she wants to live with me. Can she, or is that something the court needs to decide?
2. We have a house with about 60k in equity. I want it, my income can support it. My wife's income is maybe 20k a year. She obviously cannot afford it.
3. We have about 40k in outstanding loans and CC debt. CC's are not joint, they are individual names, but I'm assuming its still considered community debt.
Some minor 401k stuff, not big. Otherwise, no other assets. Oh yeah, a car that in both our names. She wants it.
State is Pennsylvania.
What are my options? I want the house. I don't wanna sell it.