MA - Strategy and feedback

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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback

Unread postby a dad » Thu Jan 12, 2017 2:45 am

To get an idea of some questions to ask, check this thread from the Reference section:

FINDING LAWYERS TO INTERVIEW
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback

Unread postby lotuz5 » Thu Jan 12, 2017 4:35 pm

If I were you, I would pay more attention to what dadforever is telling you .

Or what part of ( Don't get divorce in MA. ) you don't understand .

( With all respect )
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback

Unread postby massdad1234 » Thu Jan 12, 2017 9:29 pm

that might not be an option. If it comes to that, I could possibly discuss with my employer to see if I could relocate to NH, but that simply might not be in the cards. Would love to, but as of right now, not really an option. I have been with this company and in this role for less than 3 years.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback

Unread postby whatever_works » Sun Jan 15, 2017 5:30 pm

massdad1234 wrote:For those that had to go through a couple of lawyers before finding the right one, what type of script did you have for the consultation? If these 2 men don't pan out, will continue to look for more attorneys. I am in MA, which is notoriously hostile towards men,


I am in MA and on my third lawyer. The previous two did a lot of damage to my case. This one seems pretty good. He seems to know his way around most judges in MA. The last year I have been with him, my case has improved a lot. Send me a direct message if you want his name. I have no affiliation and don't get any referrals. I just know that I would not be where I am today if it was not for this lawyer and I know how hard it can be to find one.

I did not have a script. Just spoke to the lawyers and went with my gut three times. Two out of three, I made horrible mistakes and paid for those mistakes dearly.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback

Unread postby massdad1234 » Sun Jan 15, 2017 6:29 pm

What types of mistakes? do you mind sharing? What does your custody situation look like? Is it as dire as the real world divorce paints it? Were your efforts to settle/close rebuffed? High conflict? Trying to get a gauge for how things are looking and it looks like you have already started the process? Do you have a thread open?

Not sure about PM's, I thought I sent 2, and they just say sitting in outbox?
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback

Unread postby whatever_works » Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:13 pm

The lack of a strategy was the biggest mistake my previous lawyers made. They both interviewed very well, I must say. If I was going today (not knowing what I know) I would still hire the second guy. The first lawyer was pretty laid back. The second lawyer never showed for court dates - sending his second a third tier lawyers who knew nothing about my case. I basically had no representation, just a highly paid lawyer who was not interested in my case.

My wife has 100% physical and 100% legal custody right now due to phony DV allegations. The DV case went to trial and I was found not guilty. This was thanks to a different lawyer (exceptionally good). DCF had an investigation and found me guilty of neglect. This was another failure on my first lawyer's part. I was later able to challenge and reverse the finding on my own. The first lawyer also could not argue against the temporary orders where my wife came out way ahead of me.

Then my wife started painting me as the bad guy hiding assets from her. My second lawyer had no plan and left me out to dry in front of the judge. This is when the third lawyer came in. He understood my case and clarified everything for the judge and the other lawyer. He has taken my wife's deposition and the situation now is that even my wife's lawyer thinks my wife is making up stories and lying through her teeth. The judge is now more sympathetic to my case.

My lawyer tells me that the judge I have - and two others - are favorable to men and to 50/50 custody. All the other judges in Middlesex court are biased against men and happily award custody to women.

Situation is pretty dire for me. But I have hope. My efforts to settle were rebuffed. There was a restraining order for two years. Now it is gone so I am cautiously approaching my wife again. But she is sitting pretty on a high perch and unwilling to negotiate. We have been at it for over 2 years now.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Sun Jan 15, 2017 10:18 pm

whatever_works wrote:The lack of a strategy was the biggest mistake my previous lawyers made......My second lawyer had no plan.....
Strategy and game plan are your responsibility, not your attorney's. The better prepared you are, the better you will be able to manage your attorney.

Tom
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback

Unread postby Caruzzo » Mon Jan 16, 2017 12:06 am

Whatever_Works brings up a great point about attorney selection. Too many times you retain the one you want and then your case gets handed off to a partner or lower level attorney in the firm.

Make it clear to the attorneys you talk to that you expect them, and no one else, to handle your case. I would even go as far as to have it included in the retainer agreement.

I would also spend some time talking to them specifically about communication. How quickly can you expect a reply to e-mails? Can you reach them directly after business hours, in the event of an emergency? One attorney told me that he has never given his cell number to a client and never would, while another gave me his cell right then and there.

I also asked about case load, opposing counsel, and judges in the jurisdiction. You want someone who's not only familiar with your judge, but knows what their tendencies are, and is willing use a preemptory challenge if available and necessary.

Just a few ideas for you...
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback

Unread postby whatever_works » Mon Jan 16, 2017 9:08 am

Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:Strategy and game plan are your responsibility, not your attorney's. The better prepared you are, the better you will be able to manage your attorney.

Tom


Agreed and I admit the problem was me. I was in a different world altogether. All the things discussed here on this forum were happening to me and I was constantly telling myself that these things can't happen to me. That my case is different. I found this forum and the list shortly after I got kicked out of the house. But it took me about a year to take the words here as gospel. That is when things started to turn around for me.

However, a good lawyer could have saved me from myself. I know it is asking for a lot. But my first lawyer was in worse shape than me - he had just had his third breakup I later found out :-) When my wife's (attractive) lawyer was memorizing my financials with the intent of shredding me to pieces in front of the judge, he was flirting with her and enjoying her jokes. He was telling me to pay my wife more because, "think of the kids."

If I were a lawyer, having seen so many people walk through my doors at the beginning of the divorce process, dazed and confused, I would sit them down and work on a plan with them. You and the people here do that. I do believe my current attorney would do that.

I don't reject blame for screwing up my own case at the beginning. People on here said to have a plan but I didn't know how or what to be perfectly honest. I was too far behind at the time. Or maybe my plan was to get the criminal charges and the DCF case taken care of first. A good attorney would have known what was happening to me and would have guided me do that. The two d-bags I hired did not know or care.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Mon Jan 16, 2017 2:17 pm

whatever_works wrote:All the things discussed here on this forum were happening to me and I was constantly telling myself that these things can't happen to me.
Yep!! You're not the first, and you definitely won't be the last.

And FYI, that's why we're here. We've walked this road ahead of you. We know, with a great deal of certainty, what to expect. The hard part for you is trusting what we say.

For the newbie: Your post deserves its place in "Lessons Learned."

Tom
Last edited by Tom Kirkpatrick on Mon Jan 16, 2017 11:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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