I am joining a few of my board brothers here in either giving you a reality smack or calling BS.
- You say you're worth 2-5mm that is (mostly? all?) separate property.
- You had the wherewithal to protect your assets in a trust because your wife wouldn't sign a prenup.
- You say you can't find, or don't know where to find a good lawyer.
- You also complain that the 12k your atty requested as an initial retainer was too high and that 40k in legal fees is excessive.
- You say your wife agreed to the stipulated judgement and her lawyers acknowledge that, but she simply won't sign it.
Something doesn't add up. Anyone who had the brains and balls to earn 5mm should be able to solve these problems. Here's my .02¢
- Stop nickel and diming legal fees. Are you SERIOUSLY complaining about spending 40k to protect 5mm? I have already spent 70k to protect 400k. There are guys on this board who would give their left arm to be in your shoes. Wake up man.
- Find a new lawyer. Again, if you earned all that money then you have the brains and resources to find a new lawyer. They're like cockroaches, they're everywhere and there's millions of them.
- Sit down with your lawyer and say "I need a strategy for getting her to sign the stipulated judgement that (according to you) she has agreed to. Find out exactly what the delay is and report back to me immediately. If she doesn't sign by X date, send a letter stating that I am taking her refusal to sign the agreement as a rejection of it, so we must settle the matter at trial and then cut off all communication."
Bottom line; rip the band aid off as fast as possible, as you have been told many times here. Maybe it's more painful to you that the legal fees are higher than you wanted than it is you are getting divorced. Who cares? Your marriage is clearly over and you will barely feel the financial impact of this. Focus on the future. Get this over with as fast as possible and move forward to find happiness again. I promise you, it's there and you can find it with the right attitude.