Hey all, I've been married just over 2.5 years. The last two have been pretty hard. We had two deaths in the family (my side), medical problems and hospitalization (me), and just a relationship that I thought was strong fizzle out under pressure. Intimacy stopped about a year ago. She will not talk to me about us, as she says it's too intense. She tried three IC therapists and one MC. The MC I went with, but it didn't work out. This latest IC therapist basically hates me, but has never met me. She's told her to move out, and leave me. Told her that I am controlling and manipulative. Apparently, my DNA is also bad as well. How she says this to my wife w/o even knowing me is a bit suspect. I've asked to see another therapist, wife says no. I've asked to go to church to see a pastor, she says no. I asked her to talk to me, she says she doesn't know what to say. I asked her to read some couple's books with me, she said no. Her therapist told her that we should separate. I said fine, but I wanted a legal separation. She declined. I even gave her the DIY papers, but she tore them up. I really do not know what to do. I really do not want a divorce, however, this is not a marriage. Heck, we're even sleeping in separate bedrooms.
There is an issue with a divorce. See, I have assets in the 2 - 5 million range. Before getting married, I transferred all assets to an irrevocable trust, since she wouldn't sign a pre-nup. I met with my estate attorney and her partner, a matrimonial attorney. He's very well regarded, however he's very expensive (wants 12k for representation) as he's a bit old, 89. Nothing against old people, but I am concerned that what if something happens to him? He's be practicing law since 1945. He did tell me, chances are, since it's a short marriage, she will get nothing, or next to it. Since all assets were transferred before marriage, and nothing was commingled.
Any advice what to do here? Part of me wants out, part of me wants to fix the relationship. However, all of me is very concerned about my assets. I am not in the best health, so doing this all over again isn't really possible. Also, I have no idea on how to find a good matrimonial attorney. Nor do I know what a fair rate in New York is.
Can anyone lend some advice on what to do?