Move out or make her go

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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby Campfire » Sat Oct 31, 2015 8:38 pm

xfitizacult82 wrote:For some reason my wife wanted to wait until after the holidays for anything or any move to be made. I think that's weird. Before she wanted to just end stuff fast and then she cares about family holidays? Psycho tendencies.



My Ex did the exact same thing. What make and model of dedicated digital audio recorder did you get tonight? You can't use your phone. Walmart is open right now and they have a nice Sony model in stock normally.
The List: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/father_divor ... hp?t=13374


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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby xfitizacult82 » Sat Oct 31, 2015 8:40 pm

Haha true. Yea it would make her look like an Ahole. I've told her that is what I'll hate the most that she is taking me away from them and that will always burn my soul. She wants to coparent and be around each other like all is fine when we take the kids out. That makes her not look like the bad guy.
I looked into those recorders but they are online, I guess I could swing to Walmart they gotta have something. I'm gonna have a final conversation saying there is no turning back. Once I get confirmation I will not stop until she gets what she wants. She says without me around she feels she will be a better mother. Gtfoh
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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sat Oct 31, 2015 8:46 pm

STOP!

Don't have that conversation.

Don't be stupid.
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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby xfitizacult82 » Sat Oct 31, 2015 9:00 pm

Ok. At times I see her as ruthless and I guess my problem is all it takes for her is to have a change of heart because i would rather stay together no matter what. At the same time I'm in denial because I feel like she's moved on as I sleep in another bedroom and haven't touched her for 6 months. Nightmares are real. Her reasons are just excuses it's easier to quit

I was thinking if I should provide a separation agreement and in that agreement can I say no sex with others or it will be considered cheating ? I think I read that somewhere. Not sure
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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby JimRockford » Sat Oct 31, 2015 9:09 pm

I hemmed and hawed for a few months about what to say, and how to say it, almost like I was putting together a sales presentation. Then it came to me that by doing this, I would at some level be asking for permission. When the time came, I simply said, "It's time to file."
Last edited by JimRockford on Sat Oct 31, 2015 9:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sat Oct 31, 2015 9:12 pm

You can't control her. There is nothing you can say that will change her. You are getting a divorce, and as Jim says, you really want to ask her permission.

The no paramour clause isn't worth it, and it doesn't matter if one of you cheats - it changes nothing in your divorce. She is going to be with others, and you kids will know it.

How about you worry about being a good Dad, and stop worrying about being a good husband.
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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby xfitizacult82 » Sat Oct 31, 2015 9:48 pm

This is all seems spot on. I never wanted to be a part time dad and will hate the day I have to start that for the rest of my life. I feel like I'm turning my back on it all. I have two small kids sleeping upstairs that just want us around them that's all. And my wife refuses to see that or doesn't care. I'm gonna move money Monday at least the savings and not touch it. That's really what I'm concerned about. She brought 0 dollars into this and I'd like to see her afford seeing her crossfit buddies after that.
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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby Campfire » Sat Oct 31, 2015 10:22 pm

No, you have two small kids upstairs that want two parents that treat each other with respect and kindness. Do you think they are oblivious to the fact that mom and dad aren't getting along?

You are going to have a lot more one on one time with your kiddos coming up. It's a different dynamic and I enjoy it much more than the twisted "love" that D5 saw before divorce.
The List: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/father_divor ... hp?t=13374


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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby xfitizacult82 » Sat Oct 31, 2015 10:50 pm

My mom who also has some crazy stuff going on in her head, always treated the STBX badly. We bumped heads and I still don't agree cuz she is the mother of my kids and that will never change. But my mom told me, she doesn't love you, I look in her eyes and it's not there, I see you be a wonderful dad and do all you can for her and she doesn't care. She's wrong about a lot of stuff but damn I think she's right. She also thinks she's cheated and feels this guilt that causes her outbursts and feelings. I mean if My mom was right about the first thing she is prob right about this too. My pride has dropped to 0, but I'll be damned if i keep this up. No way
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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby blng_blng » Sun Nov 01, 2015 8:10 am

The county I live in allows access to court records online...
So you can see if there is any court activity with your name on it at any time...
But the list is dead on when it suggests you file first
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