Move out or make her go

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Move out or make her go

Unread postby xfitizacult82 » Fri Oct 30, 2015 8:56 pm

My wife wants me to find some place to go after the holidays. I don't want to go, we both own the house. I'm already in a separate bedroom but leaving is something completely different. I don't know what I should do....
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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby SunnyDaze » Fri Oct 30, 2015 9:15 pm

Do. Not. Move. Out.

If the home is community property then it is probably one of your most substantial assets. Even if it's not equal property (one of you had it prior to marriage or purchased it with separate funds) you should stay.

What state are you in?
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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby xfitizacult82 » Fri Oct 30, 2015 9:22 pm

maryland, both our names are on the house. She has told me to get out no less than 10x.
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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby BartSimpson » Fri Oct 30, 2015 9:25 pm

Do you have children?
Does the wifey work?

We need you to do something very important, and it is get a digital recorder and use it immediately. Can we explain why?
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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby xfitizacult82 » Fri Oct 30, 2015 9:27 pm

Digital recorder? hmmm. We have two kids, 3 and 2...she is a teacher. She makes about half as much as I do.
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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby BartSimpson » Fri Oct 30, 2015 9:33 pm

Two kids. That makes things real complicated. I'm so sorry.

You know about false accusations, right? This community has over a decade of experience protecting against the false accusation by recommending you carry a digital recorder - not your phone - anytime you are around the mother. Record for your own protection, not evidence. Record the silence as much as her rants (you won't be ranting, because you know it is recorded).

On that fateful day, and you know it is coming, when the police have frog-marched you out to the curb because she says you were violent and he says . . . oh, wait, there is a recording of it right here, Officer.

Look, I know you live in a two-party State, but we're not talking about any risk with this type of recording - you are only doing it to protect yourself from a false accusation, not to gather evidence.

There is a bunch more - like your journal and parenting time - but I want to make sure you get this important task first.

Do you understand why the recorder and why you are recording from here on out?
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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby xfitizacult82 » Fri Oct 30, 2015 9:42 pm

Yeah, I'd pretty much lose my job if she called the cops and she knows it. I do understand the need for a recorder. So I'm supposed to come up with a move out plan I guess after the holidays, I'm def not doing that now. She by choice is dissolving the marriage, she's crazy.

I see a counselor, she went once and said she had no energy to make it work. Keep in mind she never suggested seeing a therapist, I did once she said she wanted a divorce.
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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby BartSimpson » Fri Oct 30, 2015 9:46 pm

Moving out is the worst possible mistake a father can make, particularly in your State.

Can you do me a favor? Can you read "the list" which is stickied in the Reference Forum? It will serve as the basis of our conversations for the next couple of days, so read it now and we can begin.

Make a list of your own while you read Tom's "List" and report back here when you are done.
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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Fri Oct 30, 2015 10:01 pm

If you have a choice, make her go.

Do not choose to move out. Its the worst mistake you can make. If you do, you might as well just give her whatever she wants.
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Re: Move out or make her go

Unread postby xfitizacult82 » Fri Oct 30, 2015 10:53 pm

Wow, what a list. So the things I will initially do, get a journal, recorder, and document. I'm not going to leave and tell her if she wants out, she leaves.

**I don't know what to do with our joint accounts, do I just half the money, remove my name and move it all to my other account? I think I deserve more than half especially since I make a good amount more than her. Or is it just half and that is all I can do?
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