Rules for military divorces are somewhat different in that the feds guarantee a certain percentage of your retirement to your ex. I'm sure you can find some fellow soldiers who can fill you in on that. You are going to get that handed to you no matter where the divorce is filed.
As for Colorado vs. California, you'll get better custody but possibly higher child support in CA, but at least you will get community property 50%-50% split of assets rather than the Colorado "equitable" screw job. Also, assuming you end up paying alimony, you will probably pay less in California, and California will certainly give your wife what is called a "Gavron Warning". This is a court order to become self-supporting with the aim of ending alimony. In Colorado all alimony is "no strings attached", meaning not only is she not ever required to find a job, but unless you get her to sign a non-modifiable decree, she can come back every SIX MONTHS and file for more alimony. Colorado is truly alimony hell. Lifetime alimony can be ordered for any length of marriage, but it is generally marriages over 10 years that are truly at risk, and marriages over 20 years are almost a slam dunk, even though your wife is in her early 40's. BTW, in Colorado, alimony goes by the politically correct title of "Spousal Maintenance" so the recipients don't have their feelings hurt.
Now, here is the bad part. I don't know who advised you that you have to agree on the jurisdiction. If you *ever* lived here, and she is currently a resident, I think she can file and you have no choice but to defend. At the very least it will cost you thousands in lawyer's fees and court costs to prove they don't have jurisdiction, and Colorado LOVES to assert jurisdiction. You need to consult a Colorado attorney on this ASAP, and if you know the divorce is going to happen, file somewhere else. You will be very unhappy if you are stuck fighting the divorce in this God-forsaken hellhole of a "Family Law" system called Colorado.
Another dispatch from Alimonyrado.