Similar situation in reverse ... I was the one seeking a therapist for the kid. First for S10 after he said "daddy, I don't have any friends in school and no one talks to me" then for D12 after she asked for someone to talk to. Ex objected. Called my attorney. She said "your agreement says you have to consult. It doesn't say you have to agree. Take them. No judge in the county will rule against you."
If I were you, I'd make an appointment to visit the shrink and meet with him/her yourself. Make sure they're not a crack pot, get your POV known, etc. If the shrink is credible, and there are no issues with your kid, they'll tell you that. Don't leave this all in NJ's hands.
For the record, my ex has stated her objections regularly but has never bothered to go meet the shrink. It is definitely helping my ADHD, socially awkward son learn some socialization skills. Daughter has only been once but said it was helpful and asked to go again.
To echo what others have responded with, I have a couple of comments too.
First of all make sure the mental health professional is not a quack. The Dr. gave me bad vibes from the get go, S8 had one that wanted to put him on medicine without testing, and when questioned about it gave me the run around. When I jumped thru the hoops she put up, she still was giving me lip service and wanted more and more. Fired her a-s and advised NJ S8 is not to see this quack.
Second of all. IMO a good mental health professional will want to meet with all sides first before making a decision. Yes, they may have an idea what is going on after meeting the child however that doesn't mean there isn't something substantial happening at one house that may influence the professionals decision. Kind of like GIGO. If the professional doesn't know that something specific is happening, their decision maybe skewed.
Third and most important, always go to appointments. IMO I think there is nothing worse than getting info third hand (i.e. NJ) or after the appointment from the professional (especially days after). Yes, the professional has their notes but that doesn't substitute getting it while fresh in their mind IMO. I can tell you from my job experience, although we have notes for each account, nothing is worse than recalling from either your notes or somebody else's notes. Even with good notes, something important may have been missed when writing it down.
Fatheroffour wrote:Its also a response that will make a fool out of you in court or out.
That is how I personally feel but smart enough not to say it to the court.
That being said, I have not noticed any changes in behavior with my kids after divorce filing compared to before divorce filing. They are being the typical brother/sister relationship of picking on each other.
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