The Good Ex

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The Good Ex

Postby stb_divorced » Mon Jun 18, 2012 1:59 am

anyone else have a good relationship with their ex?

we will be final in august and mine is really nice to me. we don't fight/argue like we did prior to filing. she even appears thoughtful, etc.

she's not begging me to stop the divorce or anything and says she wants the kids to have a good relationship with me... that i can see them whenever i want... etc. i spend a lot of time at the house with the kids - probably more than before the divorce, lol.

just seems strange. i guess i'm pretty lucky.
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby Fatheroffour » Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:34 am

The relationship with my ex is limited to a couple of text messages a month, maybe an e-mail or two and civility at the child exchanges every other weekend.

That's good enough for me.
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby defaultuser » Mon Jun 18, 2012 7:11 am

I have a great relationship with the X as long as I do whatever she wants, give her large portions of my pay, and never expect her to be a decent parent.

Otherwise, she's a terror.
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby Chris A » Mon Jun 18, 2012 11:39 am

Sadly that wil all change one day.
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby HammerDad » Mon Jun 18, 2012 11:56 am

My relationship with my ex is ok at the moment. In general it is civil, but recently it has been better. We even purchased a birthday present for D6 together (Justin Bieber tickets), which is something we had never done before.

It does have it's ups and downs though. Normally I get 3-4 month of good followed by about 5-6 months of bad and than a few months of indifference.
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby C3156 » Mon Jun 18, 2012 12:42 pm

You are doing well right now, the true test will be when your divorce is final.

I am several years post divorce and you can have a good relationship with you ex. It can be done, if BOTH sides are willing. We do what is best for the kids and we can discuss it pretty easily. But it pretty much stops there, she has her life and I have mine. It will take some time to cultivate, but the benefits are worth the effort IMO. I have found my children do much better with parents that can get along instead of fight.
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby jerico08 » Mon Jun 18, 2012 12:45 pm

Not the least bit interested and only do everything related to kid via text or email. The only thing NJ see's if she is somewhere we both have to be is my back.

Like mentioned above, all that will change when she finds out she isnt going to be in control and your not her ATM. If it doesnt happen, good for you and suggest you play the lottery with all that good luck.
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby defaultuser » Mon Jun 18, 2012 5:48 pm

In my opinion, it takes two reasonable people to co-parent. If you have two reasonable people, the divorce was probably a mistake.
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby MMF » Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:22 pm

defaultuser wrote:I have a great relationship with the X as long as I do whatever she wants, give her large portions of my pay, and never expect her to be a decent parent.

Otherwise, she's a terror.


same here.

Funny I was going to come in here and say the lockness monster, ya know, just start talking about other things that don't exist...
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Re: The Good Ex

Postby grgr » Mon Jun 18, 2012 7:39 pm

stb_divorced wrote: says she wants the kids to have a good relationship with me... that i can see them whenever i want... etc. i spend a lot of time at the house with the kids - probably more than before the divorce, lol. just seems strange. i guess i'm pretty lucky.


So does this mean your stbx agrees that the custody order will be 50/50 physical and legal?

Maybe I'm just not interpreting this the way it was meant but it sounds to me like both you and your stbx see her role as the gatekeeper what with her telling you that you can see the kids whenever you want. You "go" to the house to spend time with the kids? Why aren't you living there with your kids everyday until the divorce is final being that you two are getting along so well?
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