So after spending the night with the new Mr Wonderful, my stbx called me, saying she wants to divorce quick, skip mediation, and settle things this week. So I showed her my list of the things I would have brought to medation, and she agreed to all of it, even had a few changes for the better. So I called an attorney and left a msg asking everything I would need to bring to her to have her draft a divorce decree for a judge to sign. I'm working quick to get it in fromt of a judge before she changes her mind, and believe me I was not unreasonable in what i wanted.
Is this too good to be true?
Once the lawyer drafts the decree and sends it to a judge, can she still change her mind?
Being as I have gotten better advice from here than from any of the lawyers I have talked too, is there anything I am missing here?
Basically she wants to sit down this week and go over it all with me, and I asked the lawyer what exactly we need to bring to her in order to get the decree ready.
It's common enough that we have a term for it, the Mr. Wonderful effect. But the opportunity it presents has a very limited shelf life so definitely strike the deal quick before the relationship fizzles.
Pretty sure the change in her attitude is that she thinks she is some hot number now (maybe she is, idk) and is embarrassed to say when asked "Where do you live" and either lies, or mentions that she has a husband and two young children at home. All she has really cared about is her image for other people, and that will definetly work to my advantage. She wants to come off as some person who is so put together, and with the first Mr. Wonderful, it was ok that she has all that baggage. he was 21 a virgin, and was finally getting his < edited > wet, he didn't give a < feces >. But now this new guy is older I guess, has a good job, a house, no baggage, and she probably looks like a trainwreck to him, so hopefully I can get this done before he is faced with that baggage and kicks her to the curb.
Will get 50/50 custody, which is not what I wan't, but I guarantee when she sees how much daycaere is, I will not go more than a day or two without getting my kiddos. Kind of nice to know she needs me, and I could give < edited > all if she is around or not. My kids are definetly affected by this, but I can take care of them I'm really close to their Nanny, who has been more of a mother to them anyway for that last few months.
She can change her mind. My nj did the same thing. Hooked up with the neighbor, wanted things to go quick, but 3 months after it was final, opened it back up because her jobless, loser boyfriend convinced her that she could get more money. I finally had to compromise after almost a year fighting it because it drained my bank account dry.
As the saying goes, "The job isn't finished 'til the paperwork is done."
In your case, both parties have reached agreement. Documents are signed and notarized. The tricky part however, is getting the judge to sign off on what you've agreed to. At least that's been my experience.
Translation = If the judge feels that your agreement is (even a little) lopsided, he may not sign.
You've gotta be sure that both sides are properly represented by attorneys so they can argue before the judge, if need be. More often then not, in cases like this, it's up to the attorneys to convince a judge that the agreement is fair and in the best interest of the parties involved.
I trust this makes sense.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. Mark Twain
Foreign couples come here to pursue the American dream; freedom for Mom, chattel slavery for Dad. - TK
In Texas its called a rule 11 agreement.... Pretty much bullet proof..... Get it done ASAP
We had a rule 11agreement. It was not the final settlement but did address custody in an emergency situation. To my knowledge they are short and don't typically address every facet of a final settlement as with a mediated settlement agreement.
I did a rule 11. Then did an MSA. Instead of working it out yourselves as you suggest, you can meet with your attorney present if you know she is ready to get it over with. Set up in 2 separate rooms. If your ex has an attorney which it doesn't sound like she does, her attorney must be present and they must sign the MSA as well. If she does not, an MSA is valid and binding if written in the correct manner. (there are some bold faced disclaimers which are required on the front page) Your attorney hashes it out. Prints it and it is signed. Once that signature is on paper, the MSA is binding and it is over. This is what I did and what I would recommend to you.
I should have clarified.... Exactly what caps lock said. Our MSA is written up as a rule 11 agreement.... Exactly the way you stated. Both L present, each in separate rooms etc. locks it down, then the judge signs off on it. If the mediator is well know by the lawyers and judge doubt the judge will read too deep into it. The sooner the docket is cleared the sooner he can hit the golf course.
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