My wife filed for divorce back in may '11,, our court date is next month (march 21 &22).. we had pretrial and we share custody of our 6 yr old daughter.. wife stays in house one week, then i come for a week,, our daughter stays there full time!! Its been a long hard road. at first things seemed ok, either we would get back together or would reach a settlement,, well,, lots has happened. 1- she claims i threatened her attorney, i got locked up for a weekend on a hearsay charge which is total BS,, judge and wifes attorney are suck buddies... finally had trial and judge found me guilty, sentenced to 3months jail and $500 fine,, i appealed it and got out...... 2-- she called cops on me on about 3 diff occasions. 1- for taking my daughter to tball practice 2- comming to house to get package which she sent me a text stating it was ok for me to come get it.. and the last was she said i punched my little girl in stomach. said my little girl told school councelor. deputy came to house and my daughter denied it. deputy said if it was the case, school would have notified them and DHS. wife then demanded report to use for court..... all the deputies know about her and our situation.... well,, now i have the chance to press charges on her for assault. she tried getting something out of my pocket at the gym then pinched my leg causing this big bruise,, then cussed me out. mngr at gym saw and heard everything, plus i have pics of bruise......shoudl i file domestic assault charges on her or would it look bad in my divorce court next month?? all i want out of this divorce is my clothes and my daughter everyother week... i offered the wife everything but she doesnt want me to have my daughter but everyother weekend.. we both would live in same school dist too.,..,..,.,., any help????
Whoa, a whole lotta anger in this post. I know we all feel this going through the process, but I would invite you to take a step back, and take a deep breath. Calm down. You have 50/50 temp, and unless you blow your top, spout off, etc., temp usually turns to permanent.
Have you been working with an atty? If so, what do they say? Also, no mention of when this happened. My guess is the longer you have waited, the less perceived threat you have of her. Others have more insight into your real request about whether to press charges or not, but methinks your time window for doing it without it appearing directly related to your custody case is over.
You're winning what you say you think is best for your child, so take a step back. Calm down. It appears things will be going ok.
The meaning of life is Happiness. What makes you happy? - Dalai Lama
For a more peaceful life, live the serenity prayer.
I would consider pressing charges and using the ongoing conflict to get out of the absurd birdnesting arrangement. That might be tough in the temp phase but you definitely dont want that as a long term solution.
Get her charged and use the charges against her in court for custody. For sure.
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”― Mark Twain
yes when she first filed,, we got along and things werent too terrible. But now it seems like this has gotten way out of hand. the simple assault by threat charge that im dealing with began back in may,, being that its kinda a political "good ole boy" thing going on with the judge and her attorney, it has been dragged out because no other judge would take it.. i just had my appeal where the judge put it off and told us to work it out because he doesnt understand it...... even the judge that i have for the divorce knows about it and knows its a shady situation. ---- it just seems like everytime i turn around she is trying to pin things on me. shes def making it look like i am the bad person. i could have done several things but chose not too. well now i have the opportunity to do something about it.. its just that i dont wanna hurt myself in court next march... I have 2 attorneys and my bill is getting crazy due to all of the things my wife is doing. when she called the sherrifs deputy a few weeks ago,, my little girl was there and my wife had her talking to the cop,, well- my attorney is preparing contemp of court charges because our temp. papers say that the child is not to be brought into this divorce or even included in a conversation about it,, well the deputy saw her and everything so im sure thats gonna help my case as well...... but im hoping if i do file these charges, then maybe she will get a slight taste of what shes been putting me through and back off...
oh i forgot to mention,,, during pretrial, her whole case was me and my steroid use... well i admitted to taking it in the past, and the judge even ordered me to take a drug test just for steroids,, the test was negative and everything was good.. well my wife also called the cops about a month ago claiming i had some "pills" in my jacket which i left at the house. they came out and got the pills and my jacket. my friend at the sherrifs office said it was anti estrogen pills. i dont know if she may have stole them a while back before she filed just to plant them like she did or what... but im planning on taking another steroid test before court just to show the judge that im not on anything............
My STBX never really hurt me, but she was very violent and aggressive. I called the cops once and had the chance to press charges. I didn't, still thinking we might work it out and thinking just having the cops come and talk to her would scare her into being less violent. Didn't work of course, she is NJ.
Limits or opportunities?
Every time you start to act like a girl, ask yourself 'What would John Wayne do?'
Well i talked with the guy at the gym and he said just let him know,, he would be glad to testify if needed.. plus i have a few pics of my inner thigh where she pinched me.. I do believe that if its domestic (which i think it will be) she will have to serve a manditory 24hrs in jail.. i really hate to do it because i want us to settle, and get along for my daughter. i know it will be easier on my daughter. but it seems everytime i talk to her she threatens me and is just a b*tch,,, i have literally tried everything from counceling, to trying to give her everysingle thing other than my child. and the thing is im not asking for FULL custody, even though id love to have it!!! the judge that we have is a big fan of everyother week < parenting time > so im extremely happy about that.... but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
Filed charges earlier this morning... now im curious to see what happens next... i filed domestic violence... now shes either gonna lay off,, or turn up the heat. now everytime we HAVE to meet,,, its gonna be in a pubilc place and im gonna make sure cameras are around. knowing her,, she may actually bruise herself and say i done it....... you never really know a woman until you meet her in a courtroom!!
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