1. I would have spent much less time trying to figurd out what exactly was going on. Is she overwhelmed with life? Midlife crisis? Who cares. If she is remotely capable of being willing to throw it all away, why want to remain with her?
2. I would have done better at shutting the (blank) up. i did file but still had this dumb notion that a miracle could be coming. So too often, emotions got in the way and I risked things unnecessarily by making her mad. Luckily it never burnt me. Keeping hope alive had me getting hurt more times.
3. I would not have abused friendships and family support systems. I have an incredible group of people who never gave up on me, and they easily could have. I don't think I can ever repay them. They wouldnt be lesser people had they gotten totally sick of me along the way.
4. I would have listened even sooner to the folks here. At first the brutal honesty seemed a bit dramatic, but I now get it. Listen to those who have gone through it.
5. I would have been more decisive. I worried about how she would react to certain wording in documents, etc at first. What a wuss. Again I escaped from it, but the woman you are up against likelg isn't the passive coward mine was.
6. I'd have done better at focusing on me rather than what she was doing or thinking. I was my own worst enemy at times.
I don't have a ton more to add as far as strategy legally or anything. And of course only talking about the process itself. Mostly what I would do before that is not sell myself short with who I hook myself up to long-term.
To those currently in the midst of this hell, read every page of this thread. I may have gotten more from this than anything else. It is a gold mine. I can only hope mistakes by myself and others can mean you don't make them.