Lessons Learned - Before and During

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Re: Lessons Learned - Before and During

Unread postby RustBeltCrooner » Thu Aug 21, 2014 10:32 am

FB_ wrote:
RustBeltCrooner wrote:The relationship with my wife was over years ago. She had no sexual interest in me. But she did have an interest in my Cupcake, or more specifically her bustline, which she stared at a lot. So I suppose that some jealousy was involved, but not the "woman scorned" kind of jealousy. More like envy of the Partonesque variety.



You seem wrapped up in this "bustline" yourself by the sound of things...hopefully this is not all this "cupcake" has going for her, and what is enticing you? If there is nothing else there like a good job, character, independent, friendly, down to earth....then you might be finding yourself back at square one again

However....I hope this NOT the case, love is blind they say :D


No, this is a nice lady I had known for years from singing together in the church choir. We have been living together and madly in love for almost three years now. I still don't have a final decree, though, so most of the Dads here consider me adulterated.
Five years of litigation if you include Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Only kid is s28.
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Re: Lessons Learned - Before and During

Unread postby RustBeltCrooner » Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:47 pm

FB_ wrote:Ah....so you were shagging a woman from the choir, was she married at the time? You dirty dog picking up a woman in aplace of worship :mrgreen:

Which remind me, I need to start going back to church :D


No she divorced her depressed husband a couple years prior. She represented herself pro se and negotiated the deal with her husband.
In court, the magistrate said to her "Are you sure? You are entitled to alimony, you know. "
"No alimony, your honor. I can support myself."
"You realize you are entitled to alimony, but you are refusing it?"
"That is correct."
The magistrate shook her head, but allowed it. It almost seemed like she was being pressured to demand alimony.
Five years of litigation if you include Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Only kid is s28.
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Re: Lessons Learned - Before and During

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Thu Aug 21, 2014 7:55 pm

RustBeltCrooner wrote: I still don't have a final decree, though, so most of the Dads here consider me adulterated.


Speaking for myself, I have no issue with your relationship. Not judging, simply not accepting your attempt to redefine the word.
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Re: Lessons Learned - Before and During

Unread postby lionel2013 » Thu Aug 21, 2014 7:55 pm

RustBeltCrooner wrote:
FB_ wrote:Ah....so you were shagging a woman from the choir, was she married at the time? You dirty dog picking up a woman in aplace of worship :mrgreen:

Which remind me, I need to start going back to church :D


No she divorced her depressed husband a couple years prior. She represented herself pro se and negotiated the deal with her husband.
In court, the magistrate said to her "Are you sure? You are entitled to alimony, you know. "
"No alimony, your honor. I can support myself."
"You realize you are entitled to alimony, but you are refusing it?"
"That is correct."
The magistrate shook her head, but allowed it. It almost seemed like she was being pressured to demand alimony.


Very rare indeed, but not unheard of. A friend of mine over here was more or less forced to accept alimony ...
Whenever you think divorce is bad, remember there are worse things than divorce.
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Re: Lessons Learned - Before and During

Unread postby jumbledone » Thu Aug 21, 2014 8:23 pm

Throwing FoF a +1.
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The meaning of life is Happiness. What makes you happy? - Dalai Lama

For a more peaceful life, live the serenity prayer.
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Re: Lessons Learned - Before and During

Unread postby RustBeltCrooner » Sat Aug 23, 2014 1:53 pm

Cupcake's experience in Ohio family court was sobering to me. She was never a SAHM and always worked, making about the same as my ex. Her ex-husband makes about the same as I do. Hardly a high roller, his job involves climbing telephone poles.
In Ohio, whenever there was a long term marriage, the ex-wife is presumed to get as alimony one-half the difference in incomes. Usually for life. Almost as bad as Colorado, but they still take the prize.
Five years of litigation if you include Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Only kid is s28.
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Re: Lessons Learned - Before and During

Unread postby RustBeltCrooner » Thu Aug 28, 2014 4:59 pm

FB_ wrote:
RustBeltCrooner wrote:Cupcake's experience in Ohio family court was sobering to me. She was never a SAHM and always worked, making about the same as my ex. Her ex-husband makes about the same as I do. Hardly a high roller, his job involves climbing telephone poles.
In Ohio, whenever there was a long term marriage, the ex-wife is presumed to get as alimony one-half the difference in incomes. Usually for life. Almost as bad as Colorado, but they still take the prize.



Wow...and if you are dumb enough to get married again for the second or third time :shock:


It may surprise you to learn that men or women who have been through an Ohio contested divorce have no little interest in a second marriage. Most of my divorced buddies have "fiancees" where the engagement can drag on for years or decades.
Five years of litigation if you include Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Only kid is s28.
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Re: Lessons Learned - Before and During

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Fri Aug 29, 2014 11:51 am

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Re: Lessons Learned - Before and During

Unread postby afc » Fri Aug 29, 2014 11:53 am

BS

No one gets "dragged" into marriage.

No one's papa holds a shotgun to their back's anymore.

Anyone who claims "tricked" or "dragged" is just using it as an excuse to cover up their weakness. And that's usually "well, it was either this or break up"
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Re: Lessons Learned - Before and During

Unread postby RustBeltCrooner » Fri Aug 29, 2014 1:57 pm

afc wrote:No one gets "dragged" into marriage.

No one's papa holds a shotgun to their back's anymore.

Anyone who claims "tricked" or "dragged" is just using it as an excuse to cover up their weakness. And that's usually "well, it was either this or break up"


+1. As discussed on other threads, the pitfall is "the illusion of scarcity". Men become convinced that their current relationship is their only alternative to dying alone. Women are experts at lowering a man's self-esteem to the point where he is grateful for any attention at all. Once a predatory woman can convince a man that he is a lowly worm with no chance at finding another partner, then she drops the ultimatum: put a ring on it or go. No woman issues that ultimatum unless she is 100% certain the answer will be "yes".
Five years of litigation if you include Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Only kid is s28.
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