Here_We_Go wrote:why does anyone who is married live in Colorado. I get the mountains and the parks just not the lifetime alimony and common law divorce
I suspect because most people who get married for the first time, in CO or any other state, have no idea what the divorce laws are in their particular states, and it wouldn't even cross their minds to look into it because who would want to ruin the wedding bliss by contemplating doomsday scenarios?? "Honey, before the rehearsal dinner, why don't we read up on family law in this state so that we educate ourselves just in case?". I don't think so.
I certainly did not. When I got married, 17 years ago, the notion of divorce was nowhere near my brain - not even on the same continent - and I was one of those who thought I would remain married to (now) X until one of us died.
Moreover, both my parents and my ex-in-laws never went through divorce, so there was nobody around (that I was close enough to) to warn me, directly or indirectly - I was completely and utterly ignorant. Three of my (older) first cousins (two female, one male) had gone through divorce, but those had happened decades ago in a different country, in Europe, so not relevant at all.
As years went by, and I started working, every now and then I would hear a male colleague joking about how he would let his wife rule the roost, "or else it's going do be bad" (a divorce, that is). But still, even though that began to make me aware, in a general way, that divorces are financially disastrous for men, the prospect of my own
marriage going down the tubes was not even a remote possibility. X played the game very well, for years and years, to make me believe that divorce was not an option.
Fast forward to today, having gone through my own divorce (and I'm not even done with the courts yet), I think some pre - marriage "family law" intro should be mandatory (but of course no one will make that happen, I know). So all I can do is help in that way by "shoveling" on this board, especially when newcomers post about whether or not they should get divorced. And, most certainly, if I'm still around if/when my son decides to get married, I will make damn sure I explain to him what he's about to get into.
Whenever you think divorce is bad, remember there are worse things than divorce.