Bearing it ALl

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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby Somdomguy » Thu Dec 07, 2017 1:54 am

That's heavy handedness I appreciate. I need to be ready for all angles.

I was writing:
If I leave after we have been living together for a year, and had CPS come by and interview both parties and not do anything and all I have is words and videos of words, 'harassment', D7 saying "you banged my head against the wall" to NJ, and her endangering D4 3 years ago, wouldn't that land me in jail potentially or worse cut my access to kids?

That's my fear.
You get what you put up with.

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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby Chaos » Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:07 am

That's legit. I probably wouldn't take off with them at this point. But I also would never leave them alone with mom. Do you know what a GAL is? I see one in your future.
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby Somdomguy » Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:12 am

I was a foolish optimist and pretty well blinded at the time. My eyes are painfully open.
We'll be ok. :)

That's my current line. Stay within reach but not so much as to appear overbearing or controlling.
I do know what a GAL is in general. Yea if we get to that level I only hope that my kids aren't grilled over things that never happened and they shouldn't be exposed to. Any first hand on that would be helpful.
You get what you put up with.

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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby Chaos » Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:14 am

My GAL was a rockstar. It's a mixed bag though. You'll need to prepare, and we can help you with that.

How are you going to keep the children from being alone with mom?
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby Somdomguy » Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:54 am

Minimize and keep being there for morning/evening rituals or other potential kids being kids time....so a lot. Remote cam in my space with audio.
Work is flexible, and I have kids activities lined up that for evening.
You get what you put up with.

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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby Campfire » Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:54 am

Som,

What medications is she mixing with the alcohol?

Can you help me with something? You stated that you are giving the mother $500/mo because it looks good. Why do you think it will make you look good?
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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby LovingDadof2 » Thu Dec 07, 2017 7:46 am

Somdomguy wrote:Giving NJ 500/month for phone, gas, student loan, credit card, nullify the angle.
1 year in now.
Any advice is welcome.
Agreed with Campfire. Why give her $500 a month?

Was this ordered by a judge. You are likely just giving her a gift and will not get credit for any of this? You need to start buckling down and preparing for the worse.
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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby Somdomguy » Thu Dec 07, 2017 8:54 am

NJ has no income, it's to keep from looking like the money pull was a control move. If I cut her off and know she has bills, will judge consider it? Would have thought she would get a job, but if she demands custody without putting in the work, why award it?
You get what you put up with.

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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby LovingDadof2 » Thu Dec 07, 2017 9:18 am

If you stop making these voluntary payments, she will most likely seek temp orders. While this can be financially painful, some States will credit you back the temp SS payment to the final awarded SS amount. Therefore, there's a benefit to going onto temp orders vs. giving her a free gift that never has a chance to be credited back b/c it wasn't awarded by a judge. You should consult with your attorney and research on your own the laws of your State.

Cutting her off also has the benefit of forcing her to secure a job. You want her working before this is finalized as this helps reduce any CS and SS payments.
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Re: Bearing it ALl

Unread postby Somdomguy » Thu Dec 07, 2017 9:28 am

Oxycodone, Klonopin, Zoloft, cyclobenzaprine, duloxetine. All not recommended to mix. Rizatriptan. First 2 I think are the major ones.
You get what you put up with.

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