Looking for some input

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Looking for some input

Unread postby NeedHelpinWA » Thu Oct 05, 2017 10:33 pm

Hello, I entered my second marriage last August after being a bachelor for over 20 years. Well, I am finding that I am just better off alone and not living with others. Admittedly a part of that is just me and what I am used to and my ideals of a home etc. but that is not releveant. I am considering ending the marriage however I want to have an understanding of the potential hole I have dug myself into.

- Married in August of 2016 (14 months)
- Bought a new home in December of 2016. She had been renting a home from her parents which they sold after we moved into our new home.
- She has two children which I have not adopted and she shares custody with her ex-husband who pays support.
- We lived together in that home for 6 months while our home was being built.
- I sold my home in OR, which I owned and moved back up to WA for the marriage. The money for the down payment and all related costs came 100% from my funds from the sale of my home, she contributed zero.
- I took a 40% cut in income changing jobs in the process. That said, I still earn considerably more at about $115K vs. her $45K
- We have racked up a fair amount of credit card debts related to the new home.
- Our home has already jumped significantly in value (purchased for $737K, sale would probable be around $825K).

What I want to understand is what is she entitled to from an asset standpoint with such a short marriage? Can I get my $90K back that I put in on the front end and we only split the actual gain? Or am I likely going to lose half or more of what I brought into the marriage?

I am fine making sure she has something to get on her feet with and support her kids, but I am struggling that after 14 months I lose all of the money I brought from my home when she put zero down. I get the division of property in the home which I would be fine with her having most of it as I need much less. There are some things we each had before hand which I would think we each keep as well as quite a bit of new stuff of which I would let her keep most of it.

Just want to have some idea of what I can expect or the possibilites if she were to really try to come after me. Her parents have money and I could see them being angry and doing what they could to make it difficult for me, but I would think that with such a short term, there would be be much they could do if I were to just let it play out.

Thanks for any help.
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Re: Looking for some input

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Thu Oct 05, 2017 11:10 pm

NeedHelpinWA wrote:She has two children.....her ex-husband who pays support.
So long as there's an order for child support, her kids are not your problem.

NeedHelpinWA wrote:The money for the down payment and all related costs came 100% from my funds from the sale of my home.....
Gift to the marriage, Bro. Unless she agrees otherwise.....

BTW - That money was your personal property until you spent it on the marital residence - at which time those funds officially became co-mingled.

NeedHelpinWA wrote:.....I still earn considerably more at about $115K vs. her $45K.....
Short term marriage in WA State, unless she talks you into it, there should be no alimony. As a general rule in WA State, women are expected to support themselves.

NeedHelpinWA wrote:We have racked up a fair amount of credit card debts related to the new home.
Unless you agree differently, credit card debt is split 50/50.

NeedHelpinWA wrote:Our home has already jumped significantly in value (purchased for $737K, sale would probable be around $825K).
Unless you agree differently, 50% of house equity is hers.

Q's:
1) Whose name is on the mortgage??
2) Whose name is on the deed?? If it's in your name only, it could make a difference in getting your down payment back.

Do not move out of your house. Start implementing austerity measures. Start separating finances. Read The List.

http://forum.dadsdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=13374

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
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Re: Looking for some input

Unread postby Chaos » Fri Oct 06, 2017 2:17 am

No it's not a gift to the marriage. I'm getting tired of seeing this crap. Bad info.

Short term marriage. You'll be made as whole as possible as long as you don't agree otherwise.

Do not settle. Do me a favor though. When you're done, come back and tell your story so people will have something to reference, and maybe they'll quit saying stupid < feces > like "gift to the marriage".
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
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Re: Looking for some input

Unread postby lionel2013 » Fri Oct 06, 2017 11:13 am

Chaos wrote:No it's not a gift to the marriage. I'm getting tired of seeing this crap. Bad info.

Short term marriage. You'll be made as whole as possible as long as you don't agree otherwise.

Do not settle. Do me a favor though. When you're done, come back and tell your story so people will have something to reference, and maybe they'll quit saying stupid < feces > like "gift to the marriage".


so are you saying the house, purchased after they got married, is not a marital asset because of the short duration of the marriage? And if so, how short is short? Where do they draw the line in his state? Two years? Five? Other?
Whenever you think divorce is bad, remember there are worse things than divorce.
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Re: Looking for some input

Unread postby a dad » Fri Oct 06, 2017 11:33 am

They're clearly referring to the down payment.

Chaos is correct. My down payment on my house was not gifted to anything.
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Re: Looking for some input

Unread postby MarcoPoloDad » Fri Oct 06, 2017 11:39 am

The information in this link should help you to understand the kind of hole you're in.

https://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/ ... state.html

M.
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Re: Looking for some input

Unread postby ib536 » Fri Oct 06, 2017 11:59 am

As long you have a paper-trail of the down payment coming from separate property that was prior to the marriage, then you have a fighting chance of keeping that amount separate. The link posted above even talks about that. Without a paper-trail of proof, then it all becomes a "he-said/she-said" argument and then it's a 50/50 split. The increase in equity is a no-brainer - 50/50.
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Re: Looking for some input

Unread postby NeedHelpinWA » Wed Oct 11, 2017 10:44 pm

Thanks everyone. The real numbers are that we do not net much afterwards. I put approx $85K to the down payment, she put nothing. We now have accrued an embarrasing, though managebale $68K in misc debts, most of which are in my name but I can show they are home related. To just be out of it, I figure we can sell our house for about $835K, payoff all of the debts and then we can just split the remaining and take about $32K each (this includes costs of selling the home).

I am thinking I would just offer this up to avoid anything long and litigious, but if I am giving away what I do not have to, I could really walk away with substantially more. My hope is that I can present her with papers and my "offer" and just get her to realize she will not only get half of the remaining cash, but also a significant amount of the items that were purchased with the debt being paid off. This way I can avoid attorney fees for such a short marriage, quite frankly, I would not hire one myself regardless, for such a short marriage and how I am reading WA law....she would just be shorting herself to involve a lawyer, we should need mediation at most.

HOWEVER, if I should maybe offer something less, I would be curious to know others experience.....UGH!!! I wish I could just go back to my old job where I made much more, had my own nice view home and peace, quiet, and my time to do with as I wish...and most importantly, a home that was my own to make decsions in.

for the record WA law for short term marriages (which they define as less than five years) says the goal is to return each person to the state they were in had the marriage not occured, though it does not always work out exactly that way. It says they do consider if anyone moved or took a significant reduction of income...which I did both and invested ALL of my money into this house...STUPID!!!
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Re: Looking for some input

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Thu Oct 12, 2017 12:32 pm

Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:1) Whose name is on the mortgage??
2) Whose name is on the deed??
And the answer is.....??

NeedHelpinWA wrote:.....WA law for short term marriages (which they define as less than five years) says the goal is to return each person to the state they were in had the marriage not occurred.....
Can you quote RCW on this??.....scripture and verse??.....or is it just court policy?? There's a huge difference between the two.

BTW - In this game, RCW is what counts.

NeedHelpinWA wrote:.....though it does not always work out exactly that way.
So, in other words, what you're telling us is there's no guarantees. And if "no guarantees" is what you're saying, then you're 100% correct. Because in this game, NOTHING is guaranteed.

Frankly Bro, I think she's gonna bleed you financially into submission. That's what NJ's do.

Never lose sight of the fact that she's got kids from a previous marriage. And as a consequence of that, she's likely to get considerable sympathy from the judge.

Tom
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Re: Looking for some input

Unread postby Chaos » Thu Oct 12, 2017 4:34 pm

It's not an RCW. The RCW says the duration of marriage is a factor, but doesn't specify what duration is considered short, medium, or long term. That came from an article written by King County Judge Robert Windsor, published in the Washington State Bar News, called "Guidelines for the exercise of judicial discretion in marriage dissolution".

Now it's the standard by which the judicial branch, including the Washington State court of appeals, rules on the duration of marriages.

It's not the RCW that counts. It's how the law is applied by the courts.
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
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