Ex is overwhelmed and verbally abusive to my son

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Ex is overwhelmed and verbally abusive to my son

Unread postby dadsdivorce » Fri Apr 15, 2005 11:09 am

I'm in the state of Illinois. If a custodial parent speaks ill of a child during phone conversations or voice messages, even going as far to say he's going to be a juvenile delinquent and she has done all she can do so if he goes to jail, that is where he will stay or if he ends up dead, then so be it, it will be done, is there a way for the noncustodial parent to get custody strictly from these conversations? My son will be 12 in June and we (my parents, my wife, and I) are afraid that he could walk out the door one day, not come back and she wouldn't care. My mother spoke to the custodial parent and asked if she was so overwhelmed, why wouldn't she just agree to let my son live with me, to which she cursed (which is her way, so we ignore it) and said she didn't want him to live with me because he has to, she wanted me to want him to live with me, which I do and have told her and him that. I just don't know what to do. Any suggestions?
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Unread postby dadsdivorce » Fri Apr 15, 2005 11:09 am

I cannot answer your question specifically to Illinois, as I am not licensed in that State. Generally you would need to show a substantial change of circumstances and that the change is in the best interest of the child. If she would consent the court would in all likelihood agree to the modification. If the matter was tried, I believe you would have a difficult case with just the information provided. The standard for a modification in most jurisdictions is difficult. Usually actions over words are more persuasive. The statements that are listed by the child's mother are not necessarily the issue. How has her statements affected the child. Does he want to live with you? Has he become depressed or suffered other emotional harm that can be documented? Have his grades declined? Does he have disciplinary problems in school? What actions would you take to improve your son that his mother is not taking? Further, the court will look at how significant a change is being proposed. For example, do you live in the same school district or even the same town? Will your son have access to his friends? Does he have siblings at his mother's residence? Family members near his mother's residence? Finally, even if it is detrimental for your son to remain in her sole physical custody, can you prove the fact that you allege?
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