Found wife on Tinder; when to bring up?!

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Found wife on Tinder; when to bring up?!

Unread postby Regguy » Tue Jan 09, 2018 12:50 pm

Hi guys. Found my wife on Tinder. Buddy actually swiped on her and set up date etc. and told me. I am definitely not dating or anything and trying to be civil and get thru this. We are right in the middle of divorce. What should I do? Thanks guys.
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Re: Found wife on Tinder; when to bring up?!

Unread postby a dad » Tue Jan 09, 2018 12:54 pm

Wish him luck?
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Re: Found wife on Tinder; when to bring up?!

Unread postby LovingDadof2 » Tue Jan 09, 2018 1:06 pm

What State? Any kids?
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Re: Found wife on Tinder; when to bring up?!

Unread postby Regguy » Tue Jan 09, 2018 1:14 pm

@dad. appreciate the levity.

@ loving. Oregon. 2 kids involved. Yet to agree on parent plan or asset division
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Re: Found wife on Tinder; when to bring up?!

Unread postby BartSimpson » Tue Jan 09, 2018 1:30 pm

There is nothing you can do.

However, let’s be clear - it is a really stupid, stupid idea and you know it. For yourself, and your kids, we suggest you not date until one year after the divorce is final.

Your wife is testing her sexual market value, seeing what she is worth on the open market. Under these conditions it is certain to involve a predator (likely your wifey) finding a Captain Save-a-hoe to pay expenses and for entertainment. Somehow we doubt Mr. Wonderful needs to use Tinder.
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Re: Found wife on Tinder; when to bring up?!

Unread postby LovingDadof2 » Tue Jan 09, 2018 1:36 pm

OP, What ages? Sorry you are going through this.

Unfortunately I believe Oregon is a no-fault State, so any past infidelity/current dating/future deadbeats will not help you. The best advice I can give you is let her go. Adapt the mindset of a business transaction. As hard as it may seem, you are getting divorced and she's moving on. But this may work to your advantage. If she finds a Mr. Wonderful, her mind may get clouded, she may rush to end divorce, make rash decisions, etc. Not things you want to think about now, but in a few years you will certainly appreciate.

Have you read the list?

How far along in the process are you? Who filed?
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Re: Found wife on Tinder; when to bring up?!

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Tue Jan 09, 2018 1:40 pm

Regguy wrote:Found my wife on Tinder.
She's looking for your replacement.

1) The Mr Wonderful effect is usually temporary. You need to use this to your advantage while you can.

2) If she's busy with Mr W, you'll likely get more parenting time; namely, status quo building in the early rounds.

Be sure to document everything in your well-written journal and parenting time tracker.

Which county??

Tom
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Re: Found wife on Tinder; when to bring up?!

Unread postby Regguy » Tue Jan 09, 2018 2:04 pm

Thx guys! All helpful

17 and 14 are the kids. What is the “list”? She filed. That make a difference?

Thanks Tom about Mr W points.

Really appreciate it guys. I was so distraught she set up date with my friend
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Re: Found wife on Tinder; when to bring up?!

Unread postby lionel2013 » Tue Jan 09, 2018 2:23 pm

Regguy wrote:Thx guys! All helpful

17 and 14 are the kids. What is the “list”? She filed. That make a difference?

Thanks Tom about Mr W points.

Really appreciate it guys. I was so distraught she set up date with my friend


One hell of a friend you have there ... Did he not see your wife's picture? Or was she wearing heavy makeup?

Unless adultery and/or immoral behavior, -whatever that means - affect spousal support, there is nothing you can/should do about your wife putting herself on the market. Consider yourself lucky the two of you are getting a divorce.
Whenever you think divorce is bad, remember there are worse things than divorce.
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Re: Found wife on Tinder; when to bring up?!

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Tue Jan 09, 2018 2:26 pm

Regguy wrote:What is the “list”?

http://forum.dadsdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=13374

Regguy wrote:She filed. That make a difference?
In your case, it does. Notice how you're playing catch-up??

Regguy wrote:I was so distraught she set up date with my friend.
As you are finding out, albeit the hard way, your friends are not your friends any more.

Tom
Last edited by Tom Kirkpatrick on Tue Jan 09, 2018 2:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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