Ex recording me

Discussions on technology and its application and implications in divorce

Re: Ex recording me

Unread postby Mock Turtle » Wed Nov 04, 2015 11:30 am

Tennisdad wrote:No idea who would be coaching her though.
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Re: Ex recording me

Unread postby RC411V » Wed Nov 04, 2015 11:31 am

Don't talk to her.
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Re: Ex recording me

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Wed Nov 04, 2015 11:39 am

Tennisdad wrote:I honestly do not have a game plan. I was caught off guard. I do not know what to do. I would appreicate some advice.
Start by reading The List. Use it as a template to build a list of your own. You should be keeping a well-written journal and parenting tracker. And.....in case you didn't know.....you should have an MP-3 digital recorder up and running any time you're around her. It'll be your only defense against phony DV charges.

And yes, if she's on top of her game (like she should be), upon her word alone, she can call police and have you arrested over this. And if she doesn't, then it's weakness. And you'll need to figure a way to capitalize on that weakness and use it to your advantage. The List covers this.

http://forum.dadsdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=13374

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Re: Ex recording me

Unread postby Ready4Change » Wed Nov 04, 2015 1:23 pm

Radio silence. No communication except through emails.

Since neither of you trust each other, exchanges should now only happen in the Police Station's waiting area. At an absolute bare minimum, they should be moved to a public spot (fast food restaurant, grocery store, etc.), and preferably one with video monitoring. The problem is she might try to use the audience to her advantage: start to make a scene when no one's looking claiming you hit her or at least tried to. Most people will instantly take her side: poor little thing being picked on by this aggressive a-hole.

You should already have you MP3 recorder. What brand is it? How long can you expect the battery to last? How many hours can you record before it runs out of space? Know how to operate it precisely well before you next "encounter" with her.

You're likely 10 steps behind like they've said. You better spend every free moment in the near future educating yourself about everything family and domestic violence related in your state.

Go. NOW. DO IT!
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Re: Ex recording me

Unread postby DivorcedDadInVa » Wed Nov 04, 2015 2:57 pm

I wish NJ had been recording me ... this would have been over long ago!

The Police Station idea is a good one and STILL what I insist on when picking up / dropping off my daughter. In the parking lot - it has CCTV coverage for my protection. Been doing that for over a year.

NJ told my daughter that we do it there because it's a "safe place" - implying that I am the dangerous one. Well, everyone ELSE knows better, and I think my daughter at 8 years old knows better, too.

Back on track - always assume EVERYTHING is being recorded, and keep a recorder on you if it's legal to do so in your state. Run it EVERY TIME you interact with her for ANYTHING. It's saved my butt and caught her in lies to the police, etc. more than once over the last 18 months, and the recordings really portrayed her in a VERY negative way.
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Re: Ex recording me

Unread postby Southern.Putter » Sat Nov 21, 2015 10:13 am

Tennisdad wrote:Thanks for the responses. I touched the recorder/her back pocket at which point she swerved and pushed me away. There was minimal contact, no striking, hitting or anything. Is this assault?


Here's a simple two-word definition of assault for you that came from an attorney buddy of mine: unwanted touching.

Here's more:
http://enlightenme.com/assault-and-battery/ wrote:Assault has several different definitions depending on the jurisdiction. In some states, if you threaten harm, have the intent to carry out that harm, and the victim reasonably believes you are capable of committing the harm, you can be charged with assault. In other jurisdictions, if you try to harm a person you can be charged with assault even if the victim is unaware of the threatened action and you are unsuccessful. In other jurisdictions, assault is defined as any unwanted touching. If you touch a person without permission, and/or cause harm to that person, you can be charged with assault. Intent is not required in the third definition; if you do an action that is reasonably likely to harm another person and someone gets hurt, you can be charged with assault. This is true even if the victim wasn’t the intended victim.


Note that "assault" and "battery" are two different things.

If you touched your ex and she did not want to be touched, that is "assault". Tom was correct when he said she is ten times ahead of you.
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Re: Ex recording me

Unread postby Musky_Slayer » Sun May 08, 2016 5:36 pm

Feller I knew said "Give me my car back you b****" onto her message machine.
Illegal use of phone offensive
Illegal use of phone threaten
illegal use of phone place in fear
Not the smartest guy, plead out on all three, each a class B misdemeanor. Guess where he spent christmas.
Any physical contact can be a charge. Touching a piece of clothing they are wearing,i.e. reaching into a jacket pocket. Then comes the he threatened me stuff. You can be charged if she says that you said you were going to touch her. No physical contact required(could be jurisdictional).

I put my hands in my back pockets if she starts to make a scene. Shows a non threatening stature to any voyeurs.
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Re: Ex recording me

Unread postby Ohiogal » Mon May 09, 2016 8:39 am

Tennisdad wrote:I live in IL. We have joint custody of S3 with 60/40 time, with me having more time. Ex has been audio recording me regularly. I found today when she came over to pick up S3. In a heated argument I saw something sticking out of her back pocket. I reached for it, recorder fell out, and she started screaming that I attacked her. She admitted that she has been recording me for a year. I backed away and left.

I'm a little concerned that she has this incident recorded and has probably recorded arguments in the past. I know she is planning a custody/< parenting time > modification in the future. Can these recorded arguments affect me? Can she play them to a GAL in a custody battle?

Why did you think you had a right to touch her? Hint: You didn't. The fact that you reached to take something from HER back pocket could get you in trouble with the law.
I am licensed only in Ohio. NOTHING stated by me is legal advice OR forms an attorney/client relationship or is to be taken as me advising you regarding YOUR personal LEGAL circumstances.
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Re: Ex recording me

Unread postby Ohiogal » Mon May 09, 2016 8:42 am

Tennisdad wrote:Thanks for the responses. I touched the recorder/her back pocket at which point she swerved and pushed me away. There was minimal contact, no striking, hitting or anything. Is this assault? I did say 'I did not attack you' and 'I do not give you permission to record me' immediately in response to her screaming, then left.

She might get a restraining order, but our interaction is minimal, only at exchanges. How will the recording be used by her? She can't use it in court. I checked and IL is still a 2 party state.

I just realized after reading this that it was a set up. She was baiting me and I fell for it. I will start recording and I am keeping a journal. No idea who would be coaching her though.

By way of law, you touched her illegally and without being invited to do so. That is battery. You had NO RIGHT to touch her back pocket which was connected to her. You could be arrested. Not likely but it is possible. And give her permission to record you? Really? That matters not. She is not doing anything differently than the people on this list have been suggested to do.
I am licensed only in Ohio. NOTHING stated by me is legal advice OR forms an attorney/client relationship or is to be taken as me advising you regarding YOUR personal LEGAL circumstances.
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