Please delete my account

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Re: Please delete my account

Unread postby BartSimpson » Tue Jun 23, 2015 8:54 am

The child's mother is moving back home. This is a fact, and more importantly - as an unmarried mother - this is her right. When the mother moves back to her family, your son must move with her.

Jurisdiction remains in that location, and your son cannot file any matter in the Court where you live because the child and mother have not obtained residency.

So I suggest you help your son make a plan to return to the child's mother's area - that is rational.
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Re: Please delete my account

Unread postby concernedmom » Tue Jun 23, 2015 8:57 am

it's funny that you guys are calling me over nurturing and assuming I'm a hover parent.

Two years ago I kicked both of him and her out when the baby was an infant because they couldn't follow the rules of my home. They were made to fend for themselves.

Then, I was called a horrifying, cold hearted, terrible and borderline abusive parent by everyone who witnessed it.

I gave him a second chance. Get a year of college under your belt...paid for by yourself and when I'm ready to move you can take over my home.

He matured. She did not. She's the same person I left outside on the curb two years ago.
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Re: Please delete my account

Unread postby concernedmom » Tue Jun 23, 2015 8:59 am

BartSimpson wrote:The child's mother is moving back home. This is a fact, and more importantly - as an unmarried mother - this is her right. When the mother moves back to her family, your son must move with her.

Jurisdiction remains in that location, and your son cannot file any matter in the Court where you live because the child and mother have not obtained residency.

So I suggest you help your son make a plan to return to the child's mother's area - that is rational.


That might be rational but that is not logical nor is it fair.
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Re: Please delete my account

Unread postby jamessick » Tue Jun 23, 2015 9:05 am

concernedmom wrote:it's funny that you guys are calling me over nurturing and assuming I'm a hover parent.

Nope, we're saying you're not a man. That you're arguing over what we're telling you kinda proves that too.

concernedmom wrote:Two years ago I kicked both of him and her out when the baby was an infant because they couldn't follow the rules of my home. They were made to fend for themselves.

Well done! This forces him to live up to his responsibilities.

concernedmom wrote:Then, I was called a horrifying, cold hearted, terrible and borderline abusive parent by everyone who witnessed it.

Of course you were, because you're not a man. Men would take this action.

concernedmom wrote:He matured. She did not. She's the same person I left outside on the curb two years ago.

See? He responds to male-centered correction and she does not, because she's not a man.

Bart's suggestion that he move back with her is spot on. You don't think its fair, and as a man, I'll remind you that most men learn to deal with that. Life isn't fair and waiting around for it to become fair never works. Logic has nothing to do with it. If he wants to remain in the child's life he needs to make rational (not necessarily logical) decisions to make that happen.
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Re: Please delete my account

Unread postby astrolink » Tue Jun 23, 2015 9:07 am

concernedmom wrote:
BartSimpson wrote:The child's mother is moving back home. This is a fact, and more importantly - as an unmarried mother - this is her right. When the mother moves back to her family, your son must move with her.

Jurisdiction remains in that location, and your son cannot file any matter in the Court where you live because the child and mother have not obtained residency.

So I suggest you help your son make a plan to return to the child's mother's area - that is rational.


That might be rational but that is not logical nor is it fair.


The above is the legal perspective to your son's situation, 100% accurate and the current probable outcome.
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Re: Please delete my account

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Tue Jun 23, 2015 9:08 am

That might be rational but that is not logical nor is it fair.

The legal process has no obligation to be rational, logical or fair.
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Re: Please delete my account

Unread postby BartSimpson » Tue Jun 23, 2015 9:09 am

It is completely logical in the law, and fairness has to consider the best interests of the child.

Your fantasy of your son living with or near you is not going to work. That is the truth, Ma'am, and you need to accept it. You need to face reality and help your son, making amends to the mother of the child is a good start. The worst threats will be over when she returns to her family, and therein your son needs to be near his child. Pay for her return ticket, pack her things gently, then kiss your son goodby as he returns to his new community.

Young women do not like to be separated from their own families - it happens so often that this forum has a term, Round 2, to acknowledge the reality of the frequency.

Your son is at the whim of the mother, and the mother has defacto custody of the child. Her threats are valid and real, she can move the child if she wishes.
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Re: Please delete my account

Unread postby concernedmom » Tue Jun 23, 2015 10:59 am

BartSimpson wrote:It is completely logical in the law, and fairness has to consider the best interests of the child.

Your fantasy of your son living with or near you is not going to work. That is the truth, Ma'am, and you need to accept it. You need to face reality and help your son, making amends to the mother of the child is a good start. The worst threats will be over when she returns to her family, and therein your son needs to be near his child. Pay for her return ticket, pack her things gently, then kiss your son goodby as he returns to his new community.

Young women do not like to be separated from their own families - it happens so often that this forum has a term, Round 2, to acknowledge the reality of the frequency.

Your son is at the whim of the mother, and the mother has defacto custody of the child. Her threats are valid and real, she can move the child if she wishes.


You are making a lot of assumptions. I have my own life, travel around the world several times a year (due to my career) and have a home that is empty that I offered to them if they could get their < feces > together....because they had no place else to call home. This is hardly a fantasy of mine. I prefer my sons to be independent of me, tbh.

They were both to become employed and pay a reasonable amount in rent plus their utilities. This is an opportunity most people in their twenties don't come across and I'm not *handing* them anything, they still need to pay their own way. *They* being the most important part of this equation.

If they had something or somewhere to call home in Kentucky, this would be a non issue. I'd simply sell the house and be done....maybe even buy myself a small flat in Europe. However, she has NO family. Both of her parents are drug addicts and her only living grandmother has parkinsons. Her parents have been a thorn to both of them while they tried to live in Kentucky, constantly taking money and belongings from them and have even gone so far as to get them evicted from one place.

At the end of the day, I suppose he needs to establish residency and paternity in this state and then just take her to court, even if they are living together. If she runs...then so be it....at that point he'll need to step up and deem her unfit. If she was doing something, ANYTHING for herself...then I'd be more tolerant, but she's not and the forecast isn't looking to bright either.
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Re: Please delete my account

Unread postby astrolink » Tue Jun 23, 2015 11:11 am

"at that point he'll need to step up and deem her unfit."

Good luck with that strategy. She's a stay at home primary parent with your son's blessing while he works. 0% chance of being successful.
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Re: Please delete my account

Unread postby concernedmom » Tue Jun 23, 2015 11:18 am

well, aside from hiring a hitman (JUST KIDDING).....there isn't much else to do.

I can't see how you can say he needs to step up and then out of the other side of your mouth you say he has to follow her where ever she decides to go...especially if she is inept of taking care of herself.

He has one year left to obtain his bachelor and a position with an employer *right now* that is offering to pay for that.

Follow her to where?

She has nothing. That shouldn't even be an option.

Sure, at the end of the day he will need to decide....but I certainly won't advocate it. I will help my sons when it's adding to their quality of life....not when it's simply to keep them alive day to day and maintaining a < feces-like > life. That is no way to live and I can't be a cheerleader.

Hell, maybe I need to go for custody.
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